DASHER, DANCER & PRANCER

DASHER, DANCER & PRANCER: December 2013. These were part of the original sock monkeys that were chosen to fly Santa's sleigh. It's true. Sock Monkey's can fly when harnessed to a sleigh and pulling a jolly old man in red. That is apparently the ONLY time they can fly though and this wasn't good enough for Santa as he wanted use of the sleigh on New Years Eve when he goes out and parties with the elves. Someone has to drive the sleigh home and Sock monkey's can't when harnessed to a sleigh pulling an intoxicated Santa with a lamp shade on his head and throwing bottles out of the sleigh while making out with three cute elves - it's too distracting. Therefore, Santa switched to reindeer because they are dumb. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Author's note: If you're reading this Santa, the truth had to come out sometime....

VIDAL & CAYAN

 

VIDAL: December 2013. When was the last time you went through your record collection and pulled out your "Bay City Rollers" album? Well, I can tell you that I did that last week and am regretting that adventure.  Vidal has not stopped playing "Saturday Night" over and over again and it's driving me CRAZY! He has downloaded the You Tube video, I-tuned the song, has it as his ring tone and is currently singing it in the shower as I write his. Time to flush all the toilets....
CAYAN: December 2013. Cayan is doing his very best to ignore Vidal and all the Bay City Roller trivia he throws Cayan's way.  I mean really, how much trivia can there be? What was their hit? "Saturday Night". That's it. I think Cayan is on a mission to seek out and destroy all things Bay City Roller"ish". Perhaps I'll help...
Author's note: I actually love the Bay City Rollers and am currently singing their song in our band - Yeehaw!  

RIZZO & WOOKIE

RIZZO: November 2013: Rizzo is a young Sock Monkey learning how to farm ant hills for Aardvark consumption. Why you may ask? Well, did you know that there are starving aardvarks out there? Who is taking care of that issue? No one. Rizzo has started a campaign to raise money, awareness and fund his ant farms. You can send your donation to "Aardvarks Matter Too" through the website: www.aardvarksrock.com. Thank you for your GENEROUS donation!
WOOKIE: November 2013: Wookie is generally on the receiving end of ant farms and delivers them for Rizzo. While he is quite happy to be a part of this magnificent effort, he's getting a little tired of dealing with broken ant farms through the mail and trying to find every escaped ant. Wookie has taken to bringing a starving aardvark with him when he reaches the post office and while this makes his life easier, the post office workers are starting to protest. Did you know that they can get as large as 180 lbs??? Not fun to deal with in a tiny post office when it's on a hunt for ants...
Author's note: The above website and campaign are just fictional (although if you feel inclined to send money, I can give you my address -oops, I mean an aardvark shelter address...). If you try the website though, it will take you to a radio station in Texas called Aardvark Rock FM. How cool is that???

MO - for "Movember"

MO: November 2013.  Mo is amazing. He is covered in moustaches and grew one just for Movember. He is a donation to a wonderful coffee shop (She Takes The Cake Cafe) that will use him for one of their draws and help promote Cancer awareness at the same time. You rock Mo!

POLLY, EREBUS & FLORENCE

POLLY: October 2013. Polly knows one song and one song only, which she sings over and over and over until you have to physically grab her by the tail and whip her around a few times in order to make her stop. She's not a bad singer and actually has a sweet voice but if I hear the song "Polly Wally Doodle All Day" one more time over and over again, whipping her around by the tail may not be the only thing that happens to her... Find another song Polly!
EREBUS: October 2013. So, did you know that the actual meaning of "Erebus" is all about "the place of darkness between earth and Hades"?  Well I didn't. Now that I do though, a few things are making sense. For instance, I now understand why Polly is afraid of Erebus and why he threatens her every time she sings. Telling someone you're going to send them to your "namesake" if they keep singing isn't that scary until you figure out what they are named for. I had better enlighten Polly and maybe we'll all get some peace and quiet.
FLORENCE: October 2013. Florence actually likes the song "Polly Wally Doodle All Day" and has been known to clap along or sing with Polly. She's also been known to hang from the ceiling fan with a package of macaroni bologna that she shreds and throws at unsuspecting people while yelling "It's a direct hit, I repeat, a direct hit!!". We are not sure who she's relaying that message to but, if you're in her line of fire, duck.
Shredded macaroni bologna doesn't smell very good when it's been stuck in your hair for a day and you had no idea...

HIX, CAPONE & KONA

 

HIX, CAPONE & KONA: September 2013. So, here we are in September (we are actually closer to the end of September) and I am only now blogging. This is ridiculous. These three sock monkeys are not impressed with me at all AND, if we go back a ways, you will find another blog that starts out very similar and ends with a promise of keeping up with this blog.

Well, I am here to say that I am only human (although my youngest son would tell you otherwise), I fall behind and sometimes just forget about certain blogs I am supposed to keep up on. I apologize and hope that these three sock monkeys won't take it out on me and destroy my craft room like the other batch did....

I can make one small promise and that is that I will endeavour to smarten up and try to keep up on my blog. After all, I would hate to disappoint my one loyal fan....  





BANDIT, RUTHIE & SCHNAPPS

August 2013. So, there I was, wearing my giant white rabbit suit, driving down the highway in my canoe and I got a flat tire. As I am trying to figure out how many pancakes I need in order to fix it, a bright yellow scooter pulls up and off jump Bandit, Ruthie and Schnapps. After questioning my sanity and laughing at my bunny outfit, they offer to help fix my flat. "Great," I am thinking to myself, "now I have a crew of sock monkeys trying to help out."

After much cursing and brainstorming, we finally decide someone has to go to the store and pick up ice cream as it doesn't have any bones and should do the job on my flat. No one could decide who should go so we all went. Let me tell you, one giant white rabbit and three sock monkeys on a bright yellow scooter driving downtown to the grocery store causes a whole lotta car wrecks and mass confusion.

ANYWAY, to make a very long story much shorter, we managed to fix the flat and my canoe was up and running in no time. I thanked my crew, gave them the last of the ice cream and continued on my way to the funny farm where giant pigs can actually fly. Trust me, someday you will appreciate this story....

Author's note: I am running on very little sleep and not enough coffee. The above only happens in my world so don't worry about your own sanity, just enjoy the ride with me...



INEZ, EMILIO & PACO



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INEZ, EMILIO & PACO: June 2013. Yup, I am late again with this post BUT, in my defense, this blog site has had more problems lately than I can shake a stick at! Speaking of shaking sticks, that's exactly what these three young sock monkeys do, shake sticks.  What kind of a profession is that you may ask? Well, apparently a good one. These three characters will hide in odd places and as soon as they see something out of the ordinary, they will jump out and shake their sticks at you and yell "I've seen you (insert verb) more times than I can shake a stick at". For example, to my husband "I've seen you pick more nose hairs than I can shake a stick at" or, to my mother "I've seen you drive at 40 in a 60 zone more times than I can shake a stick at" or, to me "I've seen you fail miserably at mastering this thing called parenting more times than I can shake a stick at". I honestly could go on and after awhile, it gets bloody annoying. I've decided next time they jump out at me with their sticks, I will grab them and beat them with their own sticks - none of this stick shaking for me, just stick smacking. That's the way I role...

ATHENA, LING & PRIME

ATHENA, LING & PRIME: June 2013. So, interesting story here. It all starts with a water balloon fight that ended in an ice cream brain freeze/head butt incident.
Athena and Ling thought it would be fun to fill water balloons and pelt Prime with them when he got home from the store. Good idea right? Wrong. Un-beknownst to them, Prime had bought a package of Jello crystals and a small bag of pop-rocks, which of course, were stuffed in his pocket and as soon as they started throwing the water balloons at him, he was saturated with water in seconds (Sock monkeys throw fast). This caused his jello crystals to clump and expand AND his pop-rocks to start popping in his pocket - WHICH, can really hurt - or so I'm told...
Prime was soooo sticky from Jello and pop rocks, he could hardly run up the stairs to beat the living snot outta Athena and Ling for destroying his afternoon snack. When he finally made it up, they were sitting as sweetly as could be with three bowls of ice cream and invited Prime to have a lovely snack with them. Well, no Sock monkey can resist ice cream and as Prime was distracted, he forgot why he was angry and ate the ice cream. HOWEVER, they kept eating, and eating and eating ice cream until all three had terrible brain freezes! In order to get rid of the brain freeze, they decided it would be wise to start butting heads and fool their brains into dealing with another kind of pain (okay, they weren't the brightest "bulbs in the pack"). Instead of getting rid of their brain freezes, they all ended up in hospital with minor concussions and bruises and a strong lecture form the doctor about "no more monkey's jumping on the bed", (I think he was on drugs).
ANYWAY, the moral of this story? Sometimes it's easier to make lemonade than pancakes during an alien invasion. Oh yeah... and NO ONE wins in a head butt.....

SCOOTER, HERMES & RUSTY

SCOOTER: June 2013: Scooter once had a job as a food photographer and was actually making quite a decent living at it until that fateful day in September. While photographing a hamburger with fries, Scooter saw a young lady with a banana split and vanilla smoothie. As Scooter hadn't eaten that day, he couldn't resist the banana split and attacked the young lady. Not only did he get the banana split and eat in in one mouthful, he also slurped down the smoothie and let out one gigantic belch. Unfortunately for him, the young lady happened to be the owners daughter and Scooter was banned from photographing food at his establishment again. The owner went one step further (as Scooter accidentally bit his daughter in the attack) and had his name blacklisted in every restaurant. Now Scooter takes pictures of nothing. Bad Scooter.

HERMES: June 2013. Hermes rhymes with germies which is appropriate as Hermes is a "germaphobic". He can't touch ANYTHING without having his disinfectant wipes with him or his antibacterial sanitary wash in his hands at all times. Even the simplest thing like opening a door brings out the wipes and wash. AND, you don't want to watch him when he blows his nose - that antibacterial wash can't be good for you squirted up there... Poor germie Hermes.

RUSTY: June 2013. Rusty is an amazing "uni-cycler". He can cycle circles around you on your regular bike and still have time to do wheelies and jumps. He loves to show off and make you feel incompetent on your bike. Why he can even do hand stands while drinking a glass of water and singing the Bohemian Rhapsody backwards. That little Rusty sure is amazing. What's that Rusty? Someone slashed your tire? That's too bad...

SKITTLES, ZORRO & ROCKY

SKITTLES: May 2013. Skittles has decided that the end of the world should be on some obscure day like February 19th or November 27th. It doesn't matter what year, just something out of the ordinary. AND, why link it to some comet or planet alignment? Why not something like February 19th is the day Stanley Goosenheiser accidentally trips while cleaning the White House and lands on the "big red button". OR, on November 27th, the DoDo bird is brought back to life at some genetic testing facility and releases toxic gases from his butt that kills humans? THESE THINGS CAN HAPPEN PEOPLE!!!
ZORRO: May 2013. Zorro has a mask. I made him take it off for the picture but he refused to remove his cape. According to him, his cape has all his super powers and if I remove it, he will become an ankle sock rather than the knee high that he is. Not wanting to start a huge debate on the powers of capes, I let him keep it on and asked him to use his invisibility power for the cape. He agreed. Hence, no cape in the picture. I wonder if he'll figure out that I won...
ROCKY: May 2013. Rocky lost a tooth the other night and cried like a man being nailed in the... well, you know what I mean. After we finally calmed him down and told him about the tooth fairy, he was anxious to see what would be left under his pillow. However, he just started crying like a man who got nailed in the nu -oops! Well, he just became a big baby when all he got under his pillow was an old banana and one a pair of clean underwear. Rocky is not very "Rocky-like"....

SMOKEY & MALLORY

SMOKEY: May 2013.  Smokey just recently lost his job and is starting to annoy all the other Sock Monkeys with his constant presence and whining. SO, if there's anyone out there that is looking for a "Toothbrush Tester", please contact me and I'll pass Smokey's information your way. He is amazing at testing all types of toothbrushes and then packaging them to make them look brand new. Seriously, no one has figured out yet that all toothbrushes are tested on monkeys before they are sold in the store - that's how good he is. Sooooo.... call us! Smokey's eager to work again and we're eager to see him go..... back to work that is.
MALLORY: May 2013. Mallory just figured out what it is that Smokey does for a living. She has been puking for an hour straight now....

SOPHIE, TIMMONS & COLE

SOPHIE, TIMMONS & COLE

Meet one of my new Sock Monkey lines. Yup, still the same ole sock monkey style BUT, we now have hats! Not just any hat either. These are hand crocheted by me and made in the true style of a northern toque. I am always looking for ways to improve these sock monkeys and mix it up a little and thought it would be fun to "northernize" these guys a bit -  toques were the first things that came to mind.

Sophie, Timmons and Cole were kind enough to volunteer as the first set of sock monkeys to be fitted with toques and they look absolutely fantastic! I must say, the hats worked out well and only took me 3 tries to get them right. Then another 3 tries to make them look good with the ears.... Always an adventure when you're working with a bunch of monkeys!

MAX & ANDREW

MAX: April 2013.  Max lies. Not little "white lies", HUGE, out-of-this-world lies. Yesterday he told his brother that their mum and dad had moved and left no forwarding address for them and they were now orphans. Two weeks ago he had the entire sock monkey community believing they were all allergic to bananas because yellow makes you break out in hives. I actually caught him looking up NASA's e-mail address with intentions of sending them a note about alien's living in my laundry room under the stairs. It never ends with Max and every lie seems to be bigger and better than the next. Whomever is the lucky recipient of this sock monkey better be ready for the CIA knocking down your door....
ANDREW: April 2013. Andrew is Max's brother. Not only did he believe what Max said about his parents moving and not leaving an address, he called Social Services and the Police and had them arrested for neglect. The fact that they were buying groceries and treats for their offspring at the local store when they were arrested was passed over until Max finally fessed up. Andrew is now in therapy. Max is in "juvie".

MOM, ARNIE & HIROKI

MOM, ARNIE & HIROKI: April 2013.

These three sock monkeys have all been built for different people and charities. 

Mom is a donation to the Catholic Women's League for their annual Mother's Day draw. It will be in a basket with other local artisan's donations and the draw will of course be on Mothers day. So, buy tickets and you could be the happy owner of "Mom" the Sock Monkey!

Arnie is rather special. If any of you watch "Ice Pilots" you will recall a cast member - a mechanic - named Arnie. Arnie was very sick and recently passed away. While he was so sick, one of the Buffalo crew wore the bumblebee socks every day as good luck for him. She also gave them to Jamie, who is Justin's partner (a Buffalo pilot) as she was expecting their child and overdue, to wear for good luck. Well, Jamie had a little boy (Nial) and brought the socks to me to turn into a sock monkey. Let me tell you, these were a well worn pair of socks BUT, turned out just fine as a Sock Monkey. I saw Jamie today at one of my programs and she said that Arnie the sock monkey was a hit with the Buffalo crew and brought tears to a few eyes. I am honored to have made this monkey in memory of a wonderful man.

Hiroki was created for a friend of mine who's daughter befriended a student who was here for a year from Japan. They went to school together in Lethbridge and became good friends. As a matter of fact, she brought him north for a visit and a chance to explore North of 60 in the Canadian north. He is now back in Japan and this Sock Monkey will travel there to live with him. Cool!

EASTWOOD & CALAH

EASTWOOD: April 2013. Yup, you guessed it. Eastwood is named for the one and only "Clint Eastwood". Why? Check out his fancy pattern. When I saw the socks, it reminded me of a poncho Clint Eastwood wore in one of his movies "A Fistful of Dollars". Actually, only the upper part of his poncho is patterned. Nonetheless, that's what these socks reminded me of and that's what he's named. I seriously should make him a poncho and a holster with a toy gun, but hey! It's not like me to promote guns among sock monkeys. That would just end badly.
CALAH: April 2013. This sock monkey is from a pair of socks my daughter brought for me. In case you didn't notice, they have hamburgers all over them. The story goes: one lunch hour, she and her friend Calah were having lunch together and every time something was said, Calah had a somewhat bitchy reply. After a few of these "replies", my daughter asked her if the burger she was eating was a "Bitch burger". ANYWAY, Calah just had a birthday and I made the sock monkey for my daughter to give to her for her birthday. The sock monkey is fondly known as "Calah the Bitch Burger". Gotta love those themed sock monkeys!

EVIE, BUNNI & EMELINE

EVIE, BUNNI & EMELINE: March 2013. These three lovely sock monkey's were for Easter this year. As you can see, they all depict an Easter theme of sorts on their bodies. One has chicks, one has bunnies and one has eggs. Now, I get the whole bunny, chick, egg thing and how they all symbolize "re-birth" and that's what Easter is about. However, I have not been able to find a pair of socks that has a cross on them or the sign of the fish which of course depicts the Christian faith - which of course is the REAL reason behind Easter! Not friggen bunnies, chicks and eggs or chocolate, candy and egg hunts. SO, if by any chance, you happen to find some socks with anything remotely "Christian" on them, tie down whoever is wearing them and steal them for me!

Author's note: Okay, that wasn't very "Christian" of me was it? PLEASE remember, this blog is for fun and a place for me to vent. I hope NEVER to offend anyone at any time - please forgive me if I do.

GUNTHER

GUNTHER: March 2013. Gunther looks confused. There is a reason for this. Today is the 21st of March and the day most people think is the first day of spring. WRONG! Yesterday was the first day of spring. Here in lies Gunther's confusion. The first day of summer AND the summer Solstice AND the longest day of the year - June 21st. The Winter Solstice AND the shortest day of the year - December 21st. First day of Autumn - September 21st or is it the 22nd this year? ANYWAY, why do they all have the 21st as their dates and then Spring is the 20th??? It messes you up. Gunther can't handle this kind of tom-foolery. I say keep it all the 21st and NO ONE gets hurt - oops! I mean confused...especially Gunther... or me...

GERTRUDE, OLIVER & LYNNE

GERTRUDE: March 2013. Gertrude's pattern on her body are cows. Now, when I come up with names, sometimes they just happen to match the sock, sometimes the "look" of the sock monkey and sometimes they make absolutely no sense. Well, this time, I was stumped because I really thought "Bessie" was a better cow name BUT, I had already used that name on another sock monkey and heaven forbid I accidentally name two sock monkeys the same name. So, I went on line to "goodcownames.com" and of course, Gertrude wasn't there and all the other names were just silly. I actually got tired of looking and thinking for this name and in a fit of "who the heck really cares", Gertrude just came to me. There. Now you know all the hard work behind finding sock monkey names.
OLIVER: March 2013.  Oliver has owls all over his body so he was easy to name. You think of owls and Oliver is one of the first names that will come to your mind. Try it. Okay, you can't try it now because I've already planted the name Oliver in your head for an owl and therefore this would be an exercise in futility. Next time you see an owl though, I bet all you think about is his name being Oliver.
LYNNE: March 2013. So, who names a sock monkey with ladybugs all over her "Lynne"? Well, that would be me. I was trying to find a name that would fit with the song "Ladybug, Ladybug, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your kids are alone". Firstly, who the heck writes this stuff? Why would a Ladybug be away from her kids AND just because she's a Ladybug does NOT mean she's a female AND do we just assume that she would have kids or even want them? Secondly, who the hell gives a child ladybug matches so they can burn down their home?! And what is their home - a hole in a stick? This song/nursery rhyme really should be re-thought. Which, is what I did, re-thought it and came up with this: "Hey Lynne, someone gave your kids matches and they're burning down your house, you'd best leave the bar and go deal with your unfortunate situation".
Author's note: Just so you know, I really DID look up "goodcownames.com" and it is out there! Check it out sometime, you might find a few good names for your future children. Also, keep an eye out for my new book "Nursery Rhymes and Songs Re-Visited". You're gonna love it.

MOOSE, QUAMI & KEZIA

MOOSE, QUAMI & KEZIA: March 2013. So there I was in the Zellers at Grande Prairie, which just happened to have a "Going out of Business" sale and I found myself in the little girls section checking out what was left of the socks. Absolutely nothing. Apparently socks are a hot commodity in Grande Prairie and Zellers sold out of their socks within hours. Okay, I just made that up, they probably sold out in days. As I left the little girl section of Zellers and headed towards the door to the rest of the mall, there in someones cart were these three pairs of socks - along with other items BUT, it was the socks that caught my eyes. I looked around to see if there was an owner to this cart and not seeing anyone close by, I figured it was fair game. Hey - don't judge. YOU should try shopping at a "going out of business" sale and see what you do for an item. ANYWAY, I of course did the right thing and grabbed the socks, ran to the checkout counter, paid for them and shoved them in the bottom of my "Suzy Shier" bag. Then, without looking back, I got the hell outta there. The last thing I remember was some woman looking around her cart for a missing item and trying to console her crying daughter, who was probably spoiled anyway and didn't really need those socks (at least that's what I tell myself, it helps me deal with the guilt).

So my friends, I am now a criminal and Moose, Quami and Kezia are pretty much accomplices in some twisted way. The moral of this story? Never leave your cart unattended at a "going out of business" sale. There's some pretty crazy people out there.... 

HOWLER & VIKING

HOWLER: February 2013. Howler was found peeling potatoes in the back of a french fry shop for some sleazy guy who bought him from a loan shark in Wales. After I rescued him and brought him home, it took weeks to get him out of my potato bin and stop peeling all the potatoes. Man, can you get sick of eating potatoes really fast! Howler is now the happy Sock Monster to a young man named Carson who's very first debit card purchase was this lucky Sock Monster! I hear he's been caught sitting in the potato bin a few times - some habits are hard to break...
VIKING: February 2013. Viking is a true lover of meatloaf. Not meatloaf the singer (although he's pretty awesome) but meatloaf the actual food. I have never really cared for meatloaf (not the singer, the food) and only cook it once in awhile when I run out of ideas for hamburger. Viking however, could eat it 24/7 and never get sick of it. He also makes a mean curry meatloaf dish that will give you gas for days BUT, so worth it!! I'm thinking I should let him cook a little more often and maybe he'll try a different cuisine other than meatloaf. Gotta love that Meatloaf (yes, the singer this time, not the food).  

FEBRUARY.....AHHHHHHH!!!!

TARSUS & KENO - February 2013.

BAFFIN & HIGGENS - February 2013

VERA, PANDA & NIXIE - February 2013.

I must apologize to anyone who still follows this blog (Bev). This month has been rather "taxing" on me and my family, and I have been lazy and not very attentive to things that matter - like my Sock Monkeys and this Blog. I will step up now and remedy the situation by being a little more diligent and make sure that I continually update and blog. Seriously, it gives me such pleasure and it's a great creative release to me so why have I neglected it? But folks (Bev), this is not about me. This is about the above Sock Monkeys. So without further pause, here goes the bios....

TARSUS, KENO, BAFFIN, HIGGENS, VERA, PANDA & NIXIE: All created in February of 2013 and all lucky they made it to the end of February without being dismantled limb by limb. These seven monkeys have been the "bain of my existence" for almost a month with the whole "when are you gonna write about us?", "why aren't you blogging?", "we're important too you know!", "that's it, we're taking things into our own hands - how do you turn on a computer?", "we've decided to vote you off the island", "you friggen' suck!", "snap out of it you big baby!"  I could go on but then I'd just get angry and someone would end up crying - probably me....

Needless to say, I sent these Sock Monkeys to the store and am happy to report they have all found new homes. Except Vera, but she's kind of a bitch.

Once again, thank you my faithful followers (Bev), and I shall make a point to blog more often in the coming month.

Author's note: Vera really isn't a bitch, I just said that for comic relief. And if you believe that then you'll also believe I have a giant living in my closet who only comes out at night and cooks eggplant in the microwave while reading Moby Dick to his pet walrus Barry.

BLACK BEAUTY & SNOW WHITE

BLACK BEAUTY & SNOW WHITE: February 2013. Well, I could go for the obvious here and tell you these two were named for famous children's stories and write their bio's around them BUT, that would just be too easy - especially since these two Sock Monkey's have nothing to do with those stories. Actually, Black Beauty and Snow White aren't even their real names.
These two Sock Monkey's are pole dancers at the local strip club "Monkey's Gone Wild" and Black Beauty and Snow White are just their stage names. Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, you can catch these two and their act around midnight on stage. Their act consists of a lot of spinning, climbing, winking, three french hens, two turtle doves and an Ocelot on a pole. They kinda suck come to think of it but hey, it's a living. Don't miss out on the next show - you're in for a real treat!

CHOPIN, REX, BRAMBLE & SARINA

CHOPIN, REX, BRAMBLE & SARINA: January 2013.  These four sock monkeys recently went on a Safari in my son's bedroom. They climbed mounds of dirty clothing, dealt with live bacteria from moldy sandwiches and rotten fruit, suffered under the harsh lights of his 500 watt lamp,  battled dust bunnies the size of rodents, almost strangled by unruly chords for Ipods, cell phones and stereo wires and slept in a tent made from old slightly damp towels. These four adventurous souls were gone for over a week before I was brave enough to venture in and wade through the depths to rescue them. Although they were slightly starved after living on potato chip remnants and sticky candy parts, they came out relatively unscathed and happy to take a bath for the first time....

Author's note: Anyone else have the same issues with their teenage sons rooms? No? Just me? Yikes... 

WALTER, ELAINE & ZINNIA

These next three Sock Monkeys are all single ones that were made for people with a specific person in mind. They all went to their respective homes at Christmas and I hear were received with love and big smiles!

Walter.
This young fellow went to a gentleman in B.C. who happens to be the brother of the lady whom works in the store that I sell my Sock Monkey's at. Walter and his owner Bradley like to hang out together and take long walks in the rain.

Elaine
When this Sock Monkey was requested, it had to be "red & black" and "you have to name her for my friend Elaine". No problem. I just happened to have a pair of red & black knee highs in my pile and since I haven't named a monkey "Elaine" yet, it worked well. I hear she was received with a bouquet of flowers that had been wrapped in her arms. What a great idea!

Zinnia
When Zinnia was requested, the socks were actually chosen from my pile and named by the young gentleman who bought him. My understanding is that purple Zinnias are a favourite flower for the lady who was on the receiving end of this monkey - all the way in Halifax. what a fantastic place for this Sock Monkey to travel to.

Author's note: You see - not all my monkeys have twisted stories! Some are quite lovely characters and go to fantastic homes. And me? Well, I end up feeling good about doing something nice.

VALENCIA, STARDUST & TWEED

VALENCIA: January 2013. Valencia is a regular fixture at the local Monkey Tail Bar and you can find her hanging out on the 3rd set of lights over the pool table. Most of her time is spent making fun of the people who attempt to play pool and really have no idea what they're doing. I can't begin to tell you how many light fixtures have been broken as angry humans swing their pool cues at her after she's let out a string of not so nice comments. To date, no one has made contact with her and the end of their pool cue  but, I'm sure when it happens it won't be a good scene...
STARDUST: January 2013. I know, I know, not a very original name considering there are stars all over this sock monkey. However, I believe I have made close to 650 sock monkeys now and sometimes names don't come easy. Stardust doesn't seem to really care. He was actually hoping for something more exciting like "Starstruck" or "Starkiller" but when it came right down to it, Stardust was the most appropriate and fit his character well.
TWEED: January 2013. Tweed smoked weed after he peed and planted a seed to fulfill his need of more weed. Pretty clever hey?
Author's note: Absolutely NONE of my sock monkeys smoke weed. Well, that I know of anyway....

LIBBY & TOOTSIE

LIBBY & TOOTSIE: January 2013. If you look closely at these two, you'll find that they are made from "Playboy" socks with the iconic bunny symbol. I decided one had to be a sock bunny and one a sock monkey.
Both Libby and Tootsie have never posed for Playboy magazine but they have been buck naked for the first edition of "Drop Your Socks" magazine (due out this month). Not only will this magazine feature naked sock critters, it will also feature many wonderful and thought provoking stories that most people will buy the magazine for...not for the pictures of course. Anyway, Libby and Tootsie will be the first centerfold and WOW! These two were made for the camera and nakedness. The magazine will be available at your local Adult Entertainment Store and costs only $12.99. Check it out - you're gonna love it!

GATOR, LANCE, MINX & MARQUETTE

GATOR: January 2013. Just because Gator's name is Gator does not in anyway mean that he likes or collects or eats gators. As a matter of fact, Gator has never even seen an alligator and would probably run away, screaming like a little girl if he encountered one. Gator's kind of a sissy that way. He does however like ceramic jewelery and once found a brooch in the shape of a gator. Does that count?
LANCE: January 2013. Lance has a dream to be the checkered flag at an Indie race car event. I can totally picture it. As the winning car is rounding the last turn on the home stretch and four other cars are battling it out to over take him, one smashes into the side of another and causes a huge accident, wheels exploding, pieces of cars flying through the air, the crowd being littered with automotive debris and there at the finish line is someone whipping around a checkered monkey by his tail as they race toward the finish line. Awesome!!
MINX: January 2013. All I can think of when I named Minx is that pivotal part in the movie "Love Actually" when Hugh Grant (who's character is the prime minister of England) glances at a picture of past Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and calls her a "saucy little minx". Now, say that with an English accent and it's actually a bit "naughty" (another great English word). ANYWAY, Minx just reminds me of that part in the movie and since it happens to be one of my all time favourite movies, it really doesn't matter that I did not write a bio on Minx and just talked up the "Love Actually" movie instead. If you haven't seen it yet, rent it.
MARQUETTE: January 2013. Marquette fell off the bed and bumped his head the other day while a slew of Sock Monkeys were playing the game "NO More Monkey's Jumping On The Bed". I actually didn't have to call the doctor but I did say "No more monkey's jumping on the bed"!! Didn't seem to matter since as soon as I walked away they all started the game again. I have come to the conclusion though, if you can't beat them, may as well join them. Man have I got a huge bump on my head though....

WHAT THE ?????

So, here is the issue for anyone who actually still follows this blog. For some reason, I can not download pictures from my computer anymore to this blog. I understand this is a huge problem with all that use this blogspot and currently they are trying to fix the situation.
Until then, I can't blog my bios without pictures of my monkeys. Therefore, I offer my sincere apologies BUT, I won't be blogging until this is fixed.
Thanks for your patience.
Jessica