GENEVIEVE, STARLING & LOLLI

GENEVIEVE: Born - May 2012. Genevieve lives in a shoe box that used to house my CAT boots. Why she insists on hanging out in these cramped quarters, I'll never understand. All the sock monkeys have the run of my place and can pretty much "hang" wherever they want. Not Genevieve. She curls her long body up at night, lays down in the shoe box and insists on the lid being closed.  I guess it's not that different than me hanging out in the giant cardboard box on my back deck - which is supposed to be for my grandson but he doesn't seem to interested in it. Come on! It's a huge box! Who wouldn't want to hang out in there?? Okay, skip my top remark about "never understanding"...boxes are cool.

STARLING & LOLLI: Born - May 2012. These two Sock Monkeys have just started a new diet called "Eat Clean". Now, here's my first concern. Sock Monkeys only eat bananas, alcohol and sour chews. That's already a rather "clean" diet if you ask me. Secondly, I think they've taken the "Eat Clean" expression quite literally. They bleach the bananas and have taken to polishing the sour chews and skipping the banana daiquiris all together. What has the Sock Monkey world come to?? What if they all decide to give this a try? Soon they'll be nothing but a pile of sober Sock Monkeys running around here and all hell will break loose. Not a "sobering" thought.... Time to put my foot down and spike their water...

Author's Note: Seriously folks, these bio's are just for fun. I don't encourage my Sock Monkeys to drink nor would I ever consider spiking their water. It's all in good fun, please remember that when you come to charge me with Sock Monkey harassment and find me passed out in my cardboard box.....



BERNADETTE, BEATRICE & PRISCILLA

BERNADETTE: Born - May 2012. Bernadette was born near a Pig farm in Ohio. She loves pigs. Her entire wardrobe consists of well, nothing, except what her pattern is...which is pigs. She wears anything that has pink on it and collects all things "piggish". Pigs rock in Bernadette's world and you know what? I think she's right! Pigs are intelligent, clean (believe it or not), entertaining, quite loving and make excellent house pets. Having said that, I'd better make sure Bernadette doesn't read this or I'll have a pig epidemic on my hands...

BEATRICE: Born - May 2012. Beatrice is Bernadette's little sister. She was also born near a Pig farm but doesn't seem to have quite the infatuation with pigs that Bernadette does. As a matter of fact, she'd sooner bite into a nice bar-b-qued thick pork chop than pet a cute little piglet. Interesting. Perhaps there was a pig "incident" in her childhood she's not telling us about. Hmmmm... I feel a counselling session coming on. Maybe over a nice dinner of rump roast....pork preferably.....

PRISCILLA: Born - May 2012. One day, a long time ago, when the earth was much greener and the air was pure, Priscilla fell off her unicycle and hit her head. She has never been the same since and speaks in some weird dialect she insists is the ancestral language of all Sock Monkeys. Here's one of her sentences: "Owwen dee headen de bikenschnouser" which translated means "I fell off my bike and hit my head". If you ask me, I think she owwen deed her brain.......

ARTICUS & KELSO

ARTICUS & KELSO: Born - May, 2012.  Had to get these two critters out of my head and into sock monkey form. I enjoy creating the Sock Monsters. However, they usually happen when my life becomes so swamped with different stresses and my mind feels like it's going to explode and the next thing I know, things like sock monsters/goblins/trolls come into existence.

These two sock monsters are both fantastic at sniffing out dust bunnies. I sweep. I dust. I clean. YET, I can never get all the stinkin' dust bunnies that seem to congregate under my couch or next to the washing machine. Being the sneaky dust bunnies they are, I just set Articus and Kelso loose and they will hunt those suckers down for me and round them up next to the garbage can. I go in for the kill - OOPS! I mean for the gentle sweeping up, and into the garbage they go. I close the lid quickly so as not to hear the crying and screaming as they fall to the bottom of the can, forever trapped in a plastic bag that will be tied and handed off to the garbage man by Tuesday. Feeling somewhat guilty BUT relieved, I put the broom and dust pan away and take Articus and Kelso out for ice cream. Another successful dust bunny hunt over, we rest and plan our next adventure..... 



MORE MONKEY MADNESS....

DEACON, RAVI, OUTLAW & MIFFIE. All born in April of 2012 and all deliberately giving me the cold shoulder. Why you ask? Well, it all started three days ago when I was outside raking a pile of leaves and had asked these four to give me a hand loading the pile up and moving it down the bank. Unbeknonwst to me, they decided to jump from the balcony into the pile, spreading it around like mad monkeys and making a bigger mess than what I initially started with. Being the kind and wonderful person that I am, I only beat them a little and sent them to bed with no supper. Why they feel they gotta ignore me is beyond me. I'M the one who had to do the job TWICE! They're lucky I didn't rake them up in the pile, bag it and leave it out for the dump truck....

CHARDONNAY & MERLOT: Born in April and donated to the local Playschool for their annual auction. I have no idea how well they did but I'm sure whomever bid on them and won is enjoying this pair of Sock Monkeys with a nice glass of red wine. Yikes, that almost sounds like they're eating them with a glass of red wine. I meant "hanging with them" and a nice glass of red wine. Actually, you don't even need to hang with them, just drink the nice glass of red wine without them. Hell, drink the entire bottle and THEN find the sock monkeys and put on a puppet show for your guests. Make sure you invite me - could be highly entertaining.....

A Few More Bios for Your Day!







TRINN, TIGRESSA & ZOLA - All born in April and at this point in time, all hanging out at the local "Monkey Tail" Bar. Not only do they like to have a little fun on the weekends, they also tend to go overboard with the hootin' and hollerin' and end up kicked out before the place shuts down. Some monkeys should just stay away from those banana daiquiris and stick to shots of lemonade. Seriously, if you've ever been out with these yo-yo's, you're in for a wild ride, perhaps something everyone should have the pleasure of experiencing at some point. 








PANDA - Born in April and filled with nothing but sweetness! Panda has an unreal desire to always smile and look on the bright side of absolutely everything. With him around, who needs uppers?! Who needs sunshine?! Who needs a daily dose of love?! Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tad here, we all need a daily dose of uppers... OOPS! I mean LOVE!

CAGNEY - Born in April as well, Cagney starred in one episode for the 1990's TV show "Cagney & Lacey". Believe it or not, she was Lacey's stuffie and you can see her in the background several times in episode 9 called "Monkey Business". Yikes, did anyone else ever watch this show? Does anyone else even remember this show? Maybe it was all a bad dream....maybe I had too many uppers that year...

DONNY - Another Sock Monkey born in April AND, another sock monkey with a history of genetic dysfunctions - such as peeing without lifting the seat. Do we really consider that a genetic dysfunction or is it just a male trait we all know and dislike? You know, stumbling home at all hours after a night at the "Monkey Tail" Bar and forgetting to lift the seat OR, missing the toilet all together. Sorry, now I'm just venting, but, when you live with as many monkey's as I do, you tend to go a little "mad" now and then.

WHOA! I haven't posted in a month!! SORRY!

Folks, to you I extend my deepest apologies as I see I haven't "blogged" in a month....my bad. I would like to offer up many excuses BUT, that would be pointless as truthfully, blogging has had to be at the bottom of my priority list this past month and therefore I really don't need a list of excuses. Sometimes, life just gets in the way and all the other details that are enjoyable, relaxing and a "sanity necessity" tend to be pushed aside.

Well, I am here to say that while the craziness of my life shall continue, I will be more vigilant in doing the things that I enjoy doing - like my Sock Monkey blog! Besides, the Sock Monkeys were starting to form a union as so many of them have come and gone and their individual bios are not up. I almost had a mutiny on my hands. Little bastards....

ANYWAY, for the next few weeks, more than one set of bios will be posted at a time so I can catch up and make these Sock Monkeys happy before I'm slapped with a lawsuit of some kind. Enjoy reading, hopefully laughing and if you feel the urge, please comment.

HEMI & GATSBY

Hemi - Not your usual, somewhat average Sock Monkey. Hemi is actually quite intelligent and has read just about every encyclopedia I have on my bookshelf. I swear he could go on Jeapordy and win a million dollars. OR, he could just be a walking Sock Monkey of information that everyone needs in their home. Might drive you a little crazy having a freakin' know-it-all around but hey, he'd be a good partner for Trivial Pursuit.

Gatsby - Pretty much the opposite of Hemi, Gatsby is NOT the brightest bulb in the pack if you know what I mean. The driveway ain't paved all the way to the end of the road.... HOWEVER, Gatsby has the best smile going and can cheer you up when you're in the worst of moods. Who cares if he can't spell his name, his smile and good nature makes up for the head full of stuffing....



ADAMA, EDSON & NICOBAR

These three wonderful sock monkeys have just discovered how to use the phone and make prank calls. Not such a bad thing except when they keep calling the same person over and over again. Not such a bad thing except that person happens to be my mother. Not such a bad thing except my mother doesn't get the whole "Is 'Mike Hunt' there?" thing. Not such a bad thing except when my mother calls and tells me she's had a string of calls from someone looking for "Mike Hunt". Yup, everyone's a comedian....



MAGOO, BACH & SPROCKET

Magoo was voted the "Least Likely to Produce" and to this day has lived up to that title. Though he has a crush on Ikoe (who is three times his size) it is not likely the two of them will "hook-up" and have any offspring in the near future...or ever....I think Ikoe is cool with that but Magoo has his issues. Move on Magoo.

Bach - named of course for the 17th century composer (and the fact that he has musical notes all over him), Bach is tone deaf and couldn't sing or play an instrument to save his life. Hopefully it will never come down to that. Perhaps he could try yodeling, I hear there's good money in yodeling somewhere in the Himalayas. Hmmmmmm.....

Sprocket usually wears a pair of underwear on his head but I made him take them off for the picture. Sprocket needs to not wear underwear on his head. He looks stupid. Maybe a paper bag will be better - then he could draw a face on it! Now that sounds like fun. Gotta go, I'm getting my markers and a paperbag out....