MAY 2011 COLLECTION

My beautiful model for May, Liam!

Liam having a taste of Claire's tail.

And yet again.... another month of Sock Monkeys! I really want to thank Paula for letting her son Liam be my "May Model". He did a wonderful job and all the pictures were fabulous. I'd also like to thank all my sock monkey's for being so patient and letting Liam pull, tug, throw, chew and just generally manhandle them while he was hanging out with them.

This month was extra special as I made my first official donation and am truly pleased that 90 Sock Monkeys will find new homes to those who truly need them. Thank you April Glaicar for making that possible.

Thank you to my faithful readers and those who continually drop socks off to me! You all rock!!

DEMETRIE, MCDUFF & VERNON

DEMETRIE: Born - May 29th. Demetrie is a "Frosted Flakes Complaints Department Telephone Operator." He is the only one. He rarely receives phone calls as no one complains about Frosted Flakes 'as they're too high on the sugar rush. HOWEVER, I called one day just for fun and complained to Demetrie. About half an hour later I was cornered in a dark alley by a group of telephone operator Monkeys and beaten with a Frosted Flakes box of cereal. Note to self - don't complain to Demetrie....

McDUFF: Born - May 30th. McDuff hails from Dumfriesshire, Scotland. No, he's not a dum-frie, just a dum monkey. Ha, ha, ha!!! That was freakin' funny!! Okay, okay. Sorry McDuff. ANYWAY, McDuff is actually quite intelligent. He is currently building miniature rocket ships to send Rosco's mice into space one day. We're all rather sceptical but, stranger things have happened.

VERNON: Born - Vernon is the kind of monkey you really don't want to run into on a busy street. He is one fast little guy and can pick your pockets in seconds. You won't even realize he's got all your stuff until you get home and clean your pockets out and everything is missing. Including that old stick of gum you've been saving for a rainy day. Which, he will chew and probably swallow - cause that's the way he rolls.

CREAM SODA & GRAPE SODA

CREAM SODA & GRAPE SODA:  Born - May 27th & 28th respectively. These two lovely monkeys are made from knee high fuzzy socks and I gotta say, they were almost the easiest socks to work with! Absolutely loved the colors and before they were built into monkeys, I had their names already chosen. How could they not be Cream Soda and Grape Soda?? Speaking of which, are they any good? I am not a pop drinker BUT, I understand there's is a crazy poll of some sort out there about which one is better. Perhaps I shall try one of each and then state my opinion - we all know you want to hear my opinion on this.....

Author's note: Well, that was disgusting and disappointing. Seriously folks, how you can drink that crap I'll never understand. Think I'll stick to my coffee and wine..... And that girls and boys, is my most humble opinion.

OTTO & COOKIE

OTTO: Born - May 25th. Otto is a limousine driver for the very rich. His Limo is so clean, you can eat off the floor! He has a hot tub in the very back with a mini-bar full of banana daiquiris and Russian Vodka. Sometimes Otto will pull over and have a quick drink with his passengers - hey, don't judge him. The only downfall is Otto can barely see over the steering wheel and can't reach the pedals. So, you pretty much just stay parked the whole time...yup, just a big party in a big car....

COOKIE: Born - May 26th. Cookie is named after cookies. That's it. .

SISCO, VICTORIA & RAMSEY

SISCO: Born - May 22nd. Sisco has one of the scariest jobs for a Sock Monkey. He's the guy that feeds the mice to the big snakes at the Zoo. Firstly, not only does he befriend the mice, he's also not much larger than some of the mice that get thrown to the snakes. Secondly, after befriending some of the mice, do you have any idea how hard it is to say "Oh well, sucks to be you" when you know what their future holds? AND, last but not least, sometimes the mice hang on to Sisco and almost drag him in with them - not a pretty sight... Yup, Sisco has it rough.

VICTORIA: Born May 23rd. Would you look at that. Victoria Day happens to fall on Victoria's birthday this year. That wasn't planned at all!! I amaze myself.... ANYWAY, back to Victoria. She's just a rockin' little monkey, sporting some funky colors and has a cool attitude towards everything. Sometimes when other Sock Monkeys are having a bad day, Victoria is right there ready to cheer them up, whether they want it or not. Some days Victoria is close to being thrown in the snake cage....  

RAMSEY: Born - May 24th. Ramsey has a little something know as "Lutraphobia". Believe it or not, this is the "fear of Otters." Now, you may ask yourself "Who is scared of otters and where in the heck does Jessica come up with this stuff???" Okay, you may not ask all that but really, who's scared of otters? They're soooooo cute and funny. Wouldn't you want one for your pet? I would - just to torture Ramsey of course!

Author's note: I don't torture my sock monkeys....not kidding, I love them...really...

MY FIRST DONATION!!

Two garbage bags overflowing with monkeys!

Yup, there they are. Bagged, loaded and ready for drop off. This is my first official donation of approximately 90 Sock Monkeys (January, February & March collections). These lucky monkeys are on there way to Slave Lake, Alberta where they will be received by families in need. It really doesn't seem like much when you think of the devastation and loss in this small Alberta city. HOWEVER, I am hopeful that these Sock Monkeys will give comfort and fill a small void in a childs life - let's hope it will make him or her smile for awhile....

FLOSSIE & FREDDIE

FLOSSIE & FREDDIE: Born - May 20th & 21st respectively. These two adorable characters consider themselves the Sock Monkey version of the "Bobbsey Twins" who were one set of fraternal twins in the aforementioned family. These two monkeys enjoyed reading the Bobbsey Twin series so much, they have collected all 72 of the original series (started in 1904 and ending in 1979) as well as many bits of paraphernalia revolving around these books. If you're unfamiliar with these stories, they started out as adventures the two sets of twins would get into and eventually became small crime/mystery stories. They only changed to that venue when "Nancy Drew" and "The Hardey Boys" started to become quite popular. None the less, Flossie and Freddie remain loyal to their precious Bobbsey Twins and if you get the chance, you can ask them anything about the series and they have all the answers.

DOUGIE, ALLEGRA & FRANNY

DOUGIE: Born - May 17th. Dougie is addicted to coffee. He can drink upwards of three pots by noon. He special orders his coffee in from Canterbury and only drinks the Espresso or Dark Roast. When they arrive, Dougie has this insane little dance he does which only gets better with the more coffee he drinks. Only beans. Dougie LOVES to freshly grind his coffee and mixes his own blend with a touch of Highlander Grogg or Vanilla. I absolutely LOVE having coffee with Dougie - a monkey after my own heart....
ALLEGRA: Born - May 18th. Allegra was an extra in the second "Iron Man" movie. You may have seen her at the beginning when the big Expo is on and the crowd is going a little wild. She's the monkey hanging from the TV camera you catch a glimpse of at the edge of the stage. Though Allegra enjoyed being in the movie, she was a little disappointed she didn't get to meet Robert Downey Jr.  She did get a small look at his backside when he was leaving the backstage area though. According to Allegra, he has a sweet backside.....just saying.
FRANNY: Born - May 19th. Franny hails from Ft. Smith and lives in a cabin on a quiet pond just outside of town. Franny used to own two pugs who would faithfully drool on her lap and cause problems with her stuffing. She eventually had to invent a plastic bib that was large enough to cover her entire body AND have pockets to hold treats for the pugs. This was all fine and dandy until the pugs got carried away and shredded the plastic body apron, swallowed pieces and barfed it up on Franny. Thus starting the whole process of messed up stuffing again....

CHEQ-Z & SHAKESPEARE

CHEQ-Z: Born - May 14th. Cheq-z loves to hang out on the washer during the spin cycle. He will hang on for dear life as the washer rattles through the cycle and won't let go for anything. I remember him flying through the air once when he lost his grip and the washer was a little over loaded causing the spin cycle to be extra crazy!! Good ole Cheq-z landed on his head, shook it off, jumped back on the washer and went for another ride! His head wound wasn't too severe and the concussion went away after the second spin cycle....
SHAKESPEARE: Born - May 16th. NO, Shakespeare is NOT some kind of freakish monkey scholar type. As a matter of fact, he flunked out of every English class known to mankind. So what is his claim to fame and why the name Shakespeare? Well, Shakespeare can recite every Shakespeare sonet backwards AND drink a glass of water at the same time. Okay, I'm just kidding - everyone knows Sock Monkeys don't drink water... Anyway, he's a really cool monkey and though he's not great with the English language, he rocks in Jibberish...

Author's note: If you're wondering why the 15th is missing from the above bio's, check out "HOOTIE" on this blog and you'll figure it out!!

HOOTIE

HOOTIE

HOOTIE: Born: May 15th. In honor of my sister's birthday, I created yet another Sock Goblin, wrapped him up, put him in a box and mailed him off to her in Ottawa! I am posting now because in Ottawa it is already her birthday therefore, it is safe to post and tell the story of Hootie....

Hootie is a photographer. Not just any ole' photographer but one who takes up close pictures of the very rare Okapi. Hootie still hasn't figured out if it's a giraffe or zebra but has informed me that it's ancestry is the Giraffe family. However, when you look at the pictures of them, their markings are similar to the Zebra. So, you tell me, giraffe or zebra? Hootie has also dabbled in photography for Sock Monkey weddings. He only does that when he needs cash fast and actually hates dealing with wedding parties. If you've ever had the good fortune of attending a Sock Monkey wedding, it's a fricken' gong show! Monkeys absolutely everywhere! Picking food out of each others hair, swinging from chandeliers, too much banana daiquiri drinking, indecent monkey business going on in the corners, pretty much a nightmare for a photographer. I hear the pictures sell well on the black market though.... ANYWAY, Hootie prefers to patiently photograph the elusive Okapi. Though it's not a high paying job, it keeps him out of trouble with the bridesmaids....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLINDA!!

JENNICA, ANTONIO & CLAIRE

JENNICA: Born - May 11th. Jennica is a monkey tattoo artist. All the sock monkeys go to her if they want a tattoo as Jennica is an amazing artist. Seriously, her stick monkey's are amazing! She has perfected her design - only one - and will gladly tattoo it anywhere on a sock monkeys body. So, if you're into sock monkeys and would like a stick sock monkey tattoo, you know who to call. You can check out her design on http://www.stickmonkeytattoo.com/ and decide for yourself if it's something you can live with forever.
ANTONIO: Born - May 12th. Antonio is from Venezuela. He somehow got stuck in a crate full of bananas and ended up here in the north. He was cleverly hiding in a bunch of bananas I bought at the Northern Store. First I thought it was an extremely large spider - which I was about to smash with a hammer - but WHOA! There was Antonio looking all sweet and pathetic so I decided to keep him. We sent word home to his folks that he's alright. Watch out though, his folks may be hiding in your next bunch of bananas.....
CLAIRE: Born - May 13th. Claire recently came back from a 12 Step Program dealing with her phobia which is: Genuphobia, the fear of knees. Thus far, Claire has managed to bend at the knees a few times without letting out a scream AND, she can sing "head & shoulders, knees & toes" without going into fits of terror. We are very proud of her and have been encouraging her to continue this brave step of conquering her fears. Way to go Claire!!!

Author's note: Okay, the website only went to Google and when googled, it will take you to a site called "Stinky Monkey Tattoos". This of course offended the 133 sock monkeys I have already made that hang out in my room, as we all know, there's NO SUCH THING as a STINKY monkey... Now, as far as smashing a spider with a hammer goes, it was just to spice up the bio. Anyone who knows me will attest to me being a bug lover and picking up critters and then sending them on their way. Further more, Genuphobia IS real and we should never make fun of phobias.....ever....
  

LIL' JAKE & LIL' JIMMY

LIL' JAKE: Born - May 9th. Lil' Jake is another member of the "Little" family. He is the tallest of his brothers and loves to tease them about it. Lil'Jake has an obsession with hair care products though and LOVES to walk up and down the aisles at the local Drug Store and smell all the shampoos. Once in awhile, if he recognizes a scent, he will attach himself to your hair and not let go until he's had his smelling fix of your shampoo. Always try to go with an unscented product. Trying to pry a sock monkey out of your hair can be rather painful and end up in hair loss.... Balding women everywhere - not a great sight....
LIL' JIMMY: Born - May 10th. Lil' Jimmy is the youngest of his siblings and as the pecking order goes in most families, was picked on quite a bit by his brothers. Though he likes to think he came out of it with no emotional scars, there are those odd moments when he zones out and has a quirky smile on his face. You'd swear he was planning something and acting it out in his brain.... Revenge is NEVER the answer (but it sure feels good thinking about it....).

CAPTAIN KA-POW, HUMPHREY & L'TICIA

CAPTAIN KA-POW:  Born - May 6th. Captain Ka-Pow is NOT what you think he may be, you know, some kind of Super Hero. He is NOT able to leap buildings in a single bound and shoot webbing from his wrists. He doesn't drive cool cars and have a sidekick named Robin NOR does he change colour and grow into a hulking huge monkey. As a matter of fact, Captain Ka-pow is just a name. Get over your comic book fascinations people and come back to reality! He's JUST a sock monkey!! Well.....maybe he can peel a banana in under 2 seconds and climbs trees faster than a speeding bullet....

HUMPHREY: Born - May 7th. Humphrey is kind of a grumpy Sock Monkey (I think that's a give away in his name). He really reminds me of Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in the movie "Grumpy Old Men". As a young sock monkey he never really played well with others and kept to himself most of the time. No one has ever really tried to figure out why he's so grumpy and when I asked, I was snorted at and Humphrey walked away. I think he should see a Sock Monkey Shrink. Can anyone suggest someone? Come on - I'm sure you've all had your share of shrinks in your lifetime...don't be shy. Call me.

L'TICIA:  Born - May 8th. L'Ticia is my Mother's Day Sock Monkey this year. What a perfect choice for a Mother's Day representative. She has had 27 babies and never seems to lose control with them. She is patient, kind, gentle, loving and would do anything to protect her young. L'Ticia is one of those mother's you envy and only wish you could be half as good as her. I mean, how does one live with 27 kids and never lose it??? This Sock Monkey deserves a medal - and I will give it to her as soon as she leaves the Mental Institution she resides at.....

UMA, ROO, OKIE, ALDO & ZENA

UMA, ROO, OKIE, ALDO & ZENA: Born - May 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th respectively. These five tiny sock monkeys are just what I needed to start my month off on a sweet and colourful note. All five are made from baby socks and surprisingly, they all have very different personalities. NEVER underestimate a cute Sock Monkey....
Uma loves to chew tobacco - not very appealing but she swears it makes her taste buds "pop". Roo has a bad habit of playing in the toilet bowl - I won't say what state the bowl is in... Okie isn't really that much of a talker but you give her a cup of coffee and she can talk for hours about garden gnomes. Aldo? Well he's just plain crazy about shoes - especially stilettos... As for Zena, she thinks she was a Sumu wrestler in another life and stomps around in diapers most of the time.
Yup, there you have it. Sweet looking on the outside but a little warped on the inside. Now you see why I like hanging around with these Monkeys...