FEBRUARY COLLECTION

Another month is finished and my sock monkey count is now at 59. Only 306 to go! So, in all their glory, I present to you, the February batch. Of course I had to get in on the picture - Sock Monkeys are rather bossy and when they say "take a picture with us", you do what they ask... Getting 28 Sock Monkeys to settle though is a bit of a challenge and I had to bring Barney the Sock Troll in - he managed to get them under control. No one messes with a Sock Troll. They even kept quiet long enough for Amadeus to pass out in the middle of them all - hey, can you spot the baby? Sorry, couldn't resist...
On to another month of sock monkey mayhem. Keep reading and commenting folks and if you find a cool pair of socks in your travels, send them my way!

KARA

KARA: Born - February 28th. Kara was created as a birthday gift for my friends daughter Kara. I happened to have two pairs of these socks and thought it would be neat to have a funky pair of socks to wear and the matching Sock Monkey to go with it. Guess I'll have to see what Kara thinks about that... So, a very happy birthday to Kara as she turns 13. May the year ahead be filled with really cool things and a sock monkey or two....

LITTLE JOE, SOLIEL & LITTLE JOHN

LITTLE JOE: Born - February 25th. Little Joe is quite small BUT, not the smallest sock monkey I've made. He is sweet to have around and very mild mannered - which is great to see when you deal with so many monkeys. Little Joe does like my sour chews though and every time I step out of my room, he searches for my stash. I'm on to you Little Joe - monkey prints in my sour chews is a dead give away...
SOLIEL: Born - February 26th. Soliel came in a bag from my brother and his lovely fiance Kate. To date, this is the smallest sock monkey I've made however, I'm sure someone will find even smaller socks in which to torture me with. Soliel is so bright and colorful, what other name could she have possibly been given? It suits her well - good choice Kate!
LITTLE JOHN: Born - February 27th. Little John is of course Little Joe's brother. They come from a large family so expect to see more "Littles" appear. Little John loves to whistle and has a large collection of "Roger Whittaker" records which he plays over and over to annoy his brothers (and me I'm sure...). One day he hopes to join Roger on stage and whistle a duet of "Cotton Eyed Joe". Wait... is Roger Whittaker even still alive? I should check in to that....

Author's note: Roger Whittaker is still alive. I sent a request on behalf of Little john to meet and plan a show time together. As of today, there has been no reply...

BELLA, MIKE & STUART

BELLA: Born - February 22nd. Bella is a colorful Sock Monkey made from a pair of socks I found in a bin for .63 cents. All I could think of as I was paying for them was what an odd amount to charge. Could it have been someones favourite number? Perhaps an employee was turning 63? Maybe the store had 63 pairs of socks to get rid of. I DON'T KNOW! These are questions that plague my mind.  I know Bella knows the significance behind "63" but she's into mind games and loves to watch me suffer. Maybe 63 is the amount of times I throw Bella against the wall before she starts to talk.....
MIKE: Born - February 23rd. Mike's official duties remain unclear to me but I am told he is a "Molecular Biologist." I failed Biology in school and am amazed at anyone who actually studies biology and molecules and then makes a career out of it. BUT, what does Michael do exactly? Really. Do molecules need biologists? More questions... It seems like a waste of 8 years of Sock Monkey University to me, but what do I know? (that's a rhetorical question...)
STUART: Born - February 24th.  Stuart is the proud owner of a large gumball machine that sits on top of his desk at work. He uses the gumballs as part of his "incentive program" for his employees. Stuart owns a chimney sweep business and it's NOT easy convincing the monkeys to crawl up the chimneys and clean. They do love their gumballs though and will pretty much do anything for one. It's better than the electric shock therapy Stuart was using before....just saying....

ELWOOD, KATEY & JACQUE

ELWOOD: Born - February 19th. Elwood has watched the movie "Blues Brothers" so many times, he can recite each character's lines word for word, mimics all the songs, does the dances and can sing "Rawhide" backwards. Elwood also has a pet rock named Jake. Just a little obsessed....
KATEY: Born - February 20th. Katey is a weed farmer. NO! Not that kind of weed silly!! Just your every day run-of-the-mill weeds. She farms the weed and sells it to the Government who in turn plants it along all our highways here in the north. C'mon - everyone knows that the northern weed looks really nice when it's mowed - especially in our yards!
JACQUE: Born - February 21st. Jacque hails from "Saint Louis-du-HA-HA" in Quebec and works as a Laughter Therapist for victims of Ostrich attacks. That's right, Ostriches. You may find his laughter a bit crazy sounding but compared to being attacked by an Ostrich, it's quite comforting. You can hear him laugh on his website: www.LAUGHTERAGAINSTOSTRICHES.com

Author's note: Yes, another made up website, and again, I checked it out. You know where it took me? To a YOUTUBE video of "Family Guy Ostrich Re-Mix" - which in my humble opinion was just plain stupid...

MARTY, CULLIN & SOPHIE

MARTY:  Born - February 16th. Marty was born into a high class family of extremely wealthy Sock Monkeys. They invented the "sock bag" which all your socks go into BEFORE they hit the dryer. This invention was a huge success as it cut the "missing sock" toll down by half. Unfortunately for Marty, he was their guinea pig and after one too many rounds in the dryer, he is no longer the "brightest bulb in the pack" (if you catch my drift....).

CULLIN:  Born - February 17th. Cullin is involved with the schools "Million Project" and used to help string beads in groups of 1000 with the Sock Monkey students. He constantly needed to be supervised though as he could only count as high as 71 and continually had to start over. This of course caused delays and problems with the student body so Cullin now simply cuts the string on which the beads are strung and everybody's happy.

SOPHIE:  Born - February 18th. Sophie holds the title for the 2000 Olympic "Tug-of-War" division and proudly displays her medal on the back of her toilet.  No one will ever be able to challenge that title either as this division was removed from the Olympics after her event. Nobody knows why exactly but I hear it has to do with certain participants greasing the opponents side of the rope in order to win. I also heard it was banana grease, which everyone knows makes sock monkeys weak....

BARNEY THE SOCK TROLL & AMADEUS

Who's the cutest, wittle poopskie boo-boo in the whole world? Who's my wittle schnookie's? Who's got the sweetest wittle facey-wacey?  Oh yeah, and Amadeus, you're pretty cute too....

Okay, okay - that wasn't very nice of me was it. I mean what kind of a grandmother am I anyway? The above is another way I give my grandson reasons never to move back home.... KIDDING!! He's such a good sport - totally didn't mind Barney the Troll hanging out with him (club ready) and me making goo-goo noises to get the picture. Yes, I made goo-goo noises....don't laugh.

Georgie's note: Once again, Amadeus's mother was in the room and not only participating in the "goo-goo" noises but laughing her ass off at me trying to get my very serious grandson to crack a smile. Not an easy task...

BUFFALO JOE, RAVE & DEE-DEE

BUFFALO JOE: Born - February 13th. Buffalo Joe was named for a rather famous pilot and entrepreneur here in the north. He dreams of one day meeting his namesake and becoming his personal co-pilot and making an appearance on the new series "Ice Pilots". Hmmmm.... maybe we can make that a reality, after all, Joe is my neighbor....
RAVE: Born - February 14th. Rave is the Sock Monkey you see attached to the disco ball in the 1977 hit, "Saturday Night Fever", starring a very young John Travolta. Rave was chosen over 6500 other sock monkeys that auditioned, only because he could hang on to the disco ball the longest. Check it out -  just don't blink or you'll miss his scene.
DEE-DEE: Born - February 15th. Dee-Dee's real name is Dingleberry Droopeysocks. Her parents were kind enough to shorten it for her but wouldn't change it as it is a family name. Dee-Dee is a singer at the Monkey Tail Bar and is renowned for her version of "Oh I don't want her, You can have her, She's too fat for me". However, one can only sing that song so many times before an "innocent bystander" can't handle it anymore and throws a bottle of gin at the stage and starts a riot - which of course involves the Sock Monkey Police - NOT a good scene. 

Author's note - I was NEVER there that night - don't believe anything these sock monkey's tell you. I DID NOT throw the first bottle and certainly didn't hurl insults at the overweight cop....nope, not me - I am an innocent bystander in this mess....

THANK YOU HAROLD!

Harold - NOT a sock monkey. Harold is a Sock Goblin. Harold was my life saver this weekend as I had one of those weekends I like to call "the weekend from hell!" Aside from stopping myself from leaving my teenage sons on the side of the road in some remote area and driving off, or better yet, checking in to how much they're worth on the black market, the weekend ended on a relatively sane note.(I just KNOW someone is going to read the above and report me to social services...) However folks, Harold came along and believe it or not, all my diabolical plans for my sons seemed to disappear as I was creating him. There's something rather therapeutic about sitting in my room, away from the craziness of my household and coming up with yet another Sock critter. Harold just happened, Harold made me smile, Harold made the issue with my two boys become a matter to be dealt with once I was in a calmer frame of mind. Thank you Harold!

Author's note: I LOVE my sons - I do! Like most semi-normal parents though, I have moments of "I didn't fricken' sign up for this crap!" The difference between losing it and keeping sane is knowing when to step back and take the time to get to a calmer frame of mind... I think my boys should thank Harold too...

ARDENE, ETHEL & CHESTER

ARDENE: Born - February 10th. Ardene rhymes with sardine. She and her brother Schmoyster spent alot of time avoiding school throughout their childhood... Come to think of it, I would too with names like those. Don't parents think before they hand out names?  Anyway, that about sums up Ardene.
ETHEL & CHESTER: Born February 11th & 12th respectively.  Ethel and Chester are a happily married Sock Monkey couple who met at a convention for "Kids With Really Bad Names" and have been lovebirds (or lovemonkeys) ever since. Actually, that's where they met Ardene. The three monkeys hit it off and now work hard at promoting "Good Name Calling" to expecting Sock Monkey couples everywhere. In their spare time, Ethel and Chester play in the local Backgammon league while Ardene sits at home with her brother Schmoyster and plots revenge on all the Sock Monkeys that teased them in their childhood. I'm kidding! Really... they just hang out and come up with thoughtful and beautiful names.....like "Jessica"!

LAUREN, WOODSTOCK & BEEKER

LAUREN: Born - February 7th. Lauren is a quiet and soft spoken Sock Monkey. She really doesn't say much at all. We can only assume what her past was like as she rarely talks. I hope it wasn't too tragic. Although, there are rumors that Lauren is the one who accidentally opened the cage that started the "Great Sock Monkey Massacre of '82". Guess we'll never know....
WOODSTOCK: Born - February 8th. Woodstock...yup, the name pretty much sums up this Sock Monkey. An old hippie-rocker from way back who took far too many "medicinal" products in his prime. Woodstock enjoys lazy days - which is everyday and loves watching "CHarlie Brown" reruns on TV. His favourite character? Well Woodstock of course!!
BEEKER: Born - February 9th. Beeker was the first Test Tube Sock Monkey created that turned out surprisingly normal. His eagerness to help and please people is always appreciated. Aside from his fascination with lab rats and human organs, he's a great guy to have at parties. Oh yeah, if he asks you if you still have your liver, just say no....

DAITA, CHEX & LOLLIPOP

DAITA: Born - February 4th. Daita was sent to me from my lovely cousin Caitlind. He came with his own story which I will share with you. 
           "Daita is from outer space. He loves cats, painting and watching Star Trek."
That's all folks. Short and sweet - think I'd better leave it that way instead of embellishing his story... Thanks Caitlind!
CHEX: Born - February 5th. Chex held the title of the 'World Checkers Champion' for many years. He was undefeated until some upstart from "Bacon Cove, Nfld." whooped his butt and stole the title. It was not a pretty sight watching a grown Sock Monkey cry on National TV.  Chex has now taken up 'Connect 4' and will only play with children under the age of 3.
LOLLIPOP: Born - February 6th. Lollipop is one of the loveliest Sock Monkeys around. She will do absolutely anything for a friend - including cut and streak your hair for an afternoon of your company. Her smile is always genuine and welcoming. Lollipop rocks and we totally love her!!

Author's note: Wow - I didn't have anything bad to say about Lollipop. Odd.  I think I'd better do some more research - everyone has a skeleton in their closet somewhere.....

AMADEUS AND A BOX FULL OF MONKEYS

This is my grandson Amadeus being tortured (by me of course). I'm sure one day he will have nightmares about boxes and sock monkeys.... If he does, I will deny everything. Grandmothers are sweet and kind - they don't do anything that could possibly leave you in a corner rocking in the fetal position....nope, we are nothing but kindly old folk...

 I LOVE my grandson and he's such a good sport!!

Georgie's note: Amadeus's mother was here and assisted in the mayhem so therefore I am not the sole torturer in the above adventure. Good thing he wasn't in with the January batch - there were a few biters in that crowd...

MARSHMELLOW, BRADLEY & MR. BUBBLES

MARSHMELLOW, BRADLEY & MR. BUBBLES:  Born - February 1st, 2nd & 3rd respectively.  Welcome to the life of an Albino Sock Monkey! These three monkeys hail from Spruce Grove, Alberta where they live on a quiet acreage and grow lavender for their homemade Pot Pouri business.
Being an Albino Sock Monkey is not always easy and they do have to be careful around people with shiny bald heads, lots of bling and can't go anywhere near tanning beds.
On an average day, these three monkeys can harvest a lavender field the size of a football stadium, in just under an hour. Fast little monkeys aren't they? You can check out their line of Pot Pouri products on their website, www.REALLYSMELLYSTUFF.com . Happy shopping!

Author's note: Okay, once again the website is made up, don't go there....I did. So, unless you want to find out "what that smelly stuff is under your toe nails", don't look it up. Wait though, if  you have smelly stuff under your toe nails, you should probably check it out.....seriously.

"LITTLE JOE"

This is "Little Joe". He was made from a really cool pair of baby socks I found, and I thought it would be neat to try and make smaller Sock Monkeys. I took the picture beside my coffee cup and then with my hand in the picture so you'd get an idea of how small he is. These were socks for 6-9 months old. I'm sure I could go smaller BUT, for now I'll stick with this size. Sorry folks, no key chain Sock Monkeys yet!

Little Joe will find a good home I'm sure, until then, he hangs out on my desk and when I'm not looking, searches my room for my stash of sour chews. I'm on to you Little Joe....

Author's note: If you like the cup, it is one of Brandon Ashcroft's creations. He is a very good friend and incredible potter. This colour is "Raspberry" but he also throws in blues and browns. Being a huge fan of his cups, and mugs, I had to buy a coffee cart in which to display them all as my cupboards were overflowing. You can check out Brandon's incredible creations at: One Quarter Studios through Facebook or do a Google search.