DENZEL, BUNBURY & COLLETTE

DENZEL: Born - August 2012.  Denzel just happens to walk rather softly and carry a big gun. Most of the other sock monkeys are afraid of him and keep their distance. Actually, the Sock Monkey Council is trying to figure out a way to get a permanent bell put on Denzel so they can hear him everytime he walks in the room. However, as everyone is afraid of his big gun, no one has volunteered to "bell the monkey". Personally, I think they're being over sensitive and Denzel is actually a sweet, kind and - HOLY CRAP DENZEL!! Stop sneaking up on me and point that damn gun elsewhere!!! I gotta get me a bell.....

BUNBURY: Born - August 2012. Bunbury. Where in the heck I came up with that name I'll never figure out. Sometimes I look at the sock before it's a monkey and name it, sometimes I don't name it until it's finished. Bunbury came to me in a moment of daydreaming about the alien invasion that will happen on December 21st - they will attack with freshly baked buns. And there it was, "Bunbury".

COLLETTE: Born - August 2012. Collette works in collections. She's the one on the other end of the phone threatening you if you don't start paying your bills. Folks, I would take her seriously. She and Denzel go way back and we all know he carries a big gun. The last thing you need is some silent sock monkey sneaking in your house with a gun...

Author's note: I really don't think aliens are going to invade with freshly baked buns, it's more likely they'll attack with eggplant. Hurts more when you get hit by one. AND, Denzel's gun is actually a super soaker from walmart, I'd NEVER let my sockmonkey's near real weapons of mass destruction...honest, I wouldn't.

GREG

GREG: Born - August 2012. This is Greg. Greg plays guitar and rather well I might say. Sometimes Greg wakes up with all his clothes on. This is not a bad thing as most musicians would wake up naked and in someone else's house. Greg is tall. Greg wears glasses. Greg has a great smile. Greg hosts awesome jams. Greg fit in with our band. Greg molded well into our groove. Greg is leaving. We hate Greg. 

Author's note: We do NOT hate Greg. We LOVE Greg and are sad to see him go. This was simply my alter-ego having a moment. "He who shall not be named" will be greatly missed. I am not bitter...

IVAN, AUDREY & KEATON

IVAN: Born - August 2012. Ivan is known as "Ivan the Terrible" in the Sock Monkey circles. Not because he's terrible in a mean sort of way but, because he's terrible at remembering names. You can introduce yourself or a friend to him and within a minute he has forgotten your name and calls you something like "hey, you....whatsitsnuts" or "dude with the hair" or "really tall person". It's so bad sometimes that he forgets to call his mom "mom"....

AUDREY: Born - August 2012. Audrey had a recent nose job and complains bitterly about the new nose. We offered to break her new one for her and let her start again but she hasn't accepted that...yet. I think we might just do it anyway - we're all tired of hearing how the surgeon "butchered" her old nose. Time to do some butchering of our own.

KEATON: Born - August 2012. Keaton recently stepped on a spider and was so worried he would make it rain that he walked around with an umbrella everywhere he went for two weeks. It was kind of sad. You know those cartoons where the character walks around with a constant cloud over his head? Well, that's what it was like - except without the cloud. Keaton avoids all tiny creatures now and lives hanging on to his umbrella at all times.

OOPS! I MISSED A TRIO...

My bad. These three sock monkeys were created in July and I'm just a little disappointed in myself for being forgetful and not posting their bios on time. I will try and do them justice and write only good things about them...Okay, not an easy task I know BUT, I shall persevere!

MAYBELLE: Born - July 2012. Maybelle used to live on a goat farm and would milk the goats in order to make her favourite goat cheese which she would spread on her banana split every morning before the sun came up. This went on for a few months before the owner realized Maybelle was eating most of his profits and had to fire her. Maybelle went to rehab for awhile to control her goat cheese addiction and seems to have her cravings under control. I am a little concerned though as my Goats Milk Soap seems to be disappearing at a fast pace. Hmmmmmm....

ELLIS: Born - July 2012. Ellis went a little crazy yesterday and I had to restrain him in a tube sock for an hour before he calmed down. Seems the other Sock monkeys have been teasing him with the "Name Game" song - come on, you know the one. "Ellis, Ellis Bo Bellis, banana mana bo bellis, fee fi mo mellis....Ellis." This of course is cute the first time but after an hour of it sung outta tune by sock monkeys, well, you can see how someone might lose it. Ellis is okay now though, I bought him ear plugs.

BEVERLY: Born - July 2012. Beverly, my sweet Sock Monkey Beverly. At least I thought she was a sweet sock monkey until I took her to the bar on Friday. Not only did she consume way too many banana tequila shots BUT, she proceeded to yell at the band "YOU SUCK" at the top of her lungs, passed out on her chair every time the Bouncer walked by and dirty danced with a random young man who I swear will never forget this evening as long as he lives. Just goes to show that you can dress up your Beverly's but you can't take them out....

Author's note: I love my two Beverly's and would take them out anytime! That's right girl's - I got your back! No one's gonna boot us out - at least not this week....

HOLDYN & GEORGIE

HOLDYN: Born - August 2012. Holdyn (believe it or not) is a master at camouflage. This little guy can blend into any of his surroundings and not be noticed. This of course plays havoc in the Sock Monkey kingdom known as my craft room as he also has the bad habit of jumping out and scaring the crap outta me! His camouflage skills do come in handy though when you need certain information that you can't get through normal channels. Holdyn will hire himself out for a few bananas and a tail rub. Just putting it out there...

GEORGIE: Born - August 2012. Georgie lives with me and sits in my window sill overlooking the craft room. I knew one day I'd come across a pair of socks that would stand out and  be the "ones" that would become MY sock monkey. This is her, "Georgie". She is wonderful and I will keep her for all time. That's all there is to say about Georgie. 

CHARLOTTE, LINK, FI-FI & RINGO

CHARLOTTE & LINK: Born - August 2012.  These happen to be two of my favourite little sock monkeys. Firstly, they never talk back. Secondly, they always do what they're asked without complaining. Thirdly, their little room is always neat and tidy, AND lastly, they NEVER have to be reminded to brush their teeth! Seriously folks, it's the little things in life that make a mother/sock monkey creator happy. Do I need to still be telling you to brush your teeth at 14 and 17 years old??? NO! It should be automatic! Come on, you've been brushing since you had a set of teeth by 18 months old!! Ooops.....I think I was rambling about my two sons and not Charlotte and Link. Still....brush your friggin' teeth.

FI-FI & RINGO: Born - August 2012. This happy couple just recently had their wedding vows re-done in a ceremony on the shores of the Great Slave Lake. It was a rather windy day and everytime Fi-Fi stood a certain way, her dress would shoot up from under her and you saw things that you just aren't supposed to see. As for Ringo, he would try to stand so the wind wouldn't cause an issue but, then his tie would whip around and smack him in the face. By the end of the evening, Fi-Fi's dress was just clear thrown off and Ringo's tie was used as a swing on the chandelier. I must say, that was the most entertaining renewal of vows I've ever been to.

HUXLEY, LENNIE & JAMES



HUXLEY: Born - August 2012. Today, Huxley went down the riverbank and collected a bouquet of Northern Fireweed, fixed it up beautifully in a vase, put it on my kitchen table with a note that read: "Sorry. Love Huxley".  First thing I did was check my cream status in the fridge as Huxley has a whipping cream addiction. Sure enough, it was all gone. He and I continually fight over the cream as I LOVE it in my coffee - without it, my day can NOT be started. He knows this and when I forget to hide it or lock the fridge at night, I'm screwed.  Huxley is hiding right now but I WILL find him...
LENNIE: Born - August 2012. I think Lennie will one day be a fantastic Narc as he seems to always crack under pressure or if you offer him a free banana split. It didn't take long for me to find out where Huxley was hiding once I started questioning Lennie. You can tell when he's about to give in too, his whole demeanor changes and he slumps and starts rambling about torture (not anything I would ever do to my monkeys...). At this point it's fairly easy to extract information from him. Man, this Sock Monkey knows a lot of crap! I should write a book...
JAMES: Born - August 2012. James would like to one day be a chauffeur. He happened to watch an old movie where a beautiful woman got into a car and said "Home James". Ever since that moment, James has been on a mission to get a drivers license, fancy car and beautiful woman that will say "Home James" every time she climbs in. Well, I guess there have been weirder goals in one's life. Aim high James!