Saturday, September 17, 2011

LADY ARCUS

THE LOVELY "LADY ARCUS".


LADY ARCUS STRIKING A CASUAL POSE....




LADY ARCUS: Born - September 16th. Firstly, let me explain the word "Arcus" then, you'll understand why I chose it. Arcus is the Latin word for "rainbow". As Lady Arcus is created from 6 different pairs of socks  (all the fuzzy ones I might add) and they are all brightly coloured like a rainbow, I thought it would be appropriate. She also struck me as a Lady. Not a duchess or a princess but, a "proper Lady" (as my mother would say). She is also a HUGE fan of the Smurfs. No one really knows why and she's not saying, we just walk around all the Smurf paraphernalia. Anyway, without further ado, here is Lady Arcus's story.  
Lady Arcus is an internationally well known Snake Milker. What is a snake milker you ask? Let me enlighten you. A snake milker removes the venom from snakes. First, he/she must capture them, then stretch latex over a jar and make the snake bite the latex. A snake milker then extracts the venom by either manually massaging the venomous glands or using electric stimulation on the muscles around the glands to encourage the snake to "spit" the venom into the jar. The venom is used for anti venom AND some is also used for research in stroke victims. Cool.
So, why did Lady Arcus decide on this profession? After five of her family members and many friends became victims of the very rare "White Polar Snake" (found only above the 60th parallel) , Lady Arcus decided it had to end. She studied  "Herpetology" - which is the science of reptiles - and also Pharmaceutical Science for several years and is now the worlds top Snake Milker and Anti Venom creator of this rare Snake. She is sought out from all circumpolar regions of the earth and can't seem to keep up on the requests for seminars and Smurf facts. Whoa. That was random....
ANYWAY, if you happen to encounter the rare White Polar Snake and unfortunately get bit, you'd better hope Lady Arcus has been around and there's anti venom at the local health facility. If there is, you can thank Lady Arcus someday, if there isn't, well, it was nice knowing you....
Author's note: While there is no such thing as the "White Polar Snake" (yes, you can breathe now), there are actual Snake Milkers out there. Fascinating field. It would be interesting to see what their turnover for employees is...or maybe death toll?....

1 comment:

  1. Hey, "Ryan"is missing his toothbrush, and since Lady Arcus almost has teeth....we were wondering. She also has a "R" in her name.

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