HIX, CAPONE & KONA

 

HIX, CAPONE & KONA: September 2013. So, here we are in September (we are actually closer to the end of September) and I am only now blogging. This is ridiculous. These three sock monkeys are not impressed with me at all AND, if we go back a ways, you will find another blog that starts out very similar and ends with a promise of keeping up with this blog.

Well, I am here to say that I am only human (although my youngest son would tell you otherwise), I fall behind and sometimes just forget about certain blogs I am supposed to keep up on. I apologize and hope that these three sock monkeys won't take it out on me and destroy my craft room like the other batch did....

I can make one small promise and that is that I will endeavour to smarten up and try to keep up on my blog. After all, I would hate to disappoint my one loyal fan....  





BANDIT, RUTHIE & SCHNAPPS

August 2013. So, there I was, wearing my giant white rabbit suit, driving down the highway in my canoe and I got a flat tire. As I am trying to figure out how many pancakes I need in order to fix it, a bright yellow scooter pulls up and off jump Bandit, Ruthie and Schnapps. After questioning my sanity and laughing at my bunny outfit, they offer to help fix my flat. "Great," I am thinking to myself, "now I have a crew of sock monkeys trying to help out."

After much cursing and brainstorming, we finally decide someone has to go to the store and pick up ice cream as it doesn't have any bones and should do the job on my flat. No one could decide who should go so we all went. Let me tell you, one giant white rabbit and three sock monkeys on a bright yellow scooter driving downtown to the grocery store causes a whole lotta car wrecks and mass confusion.

ANYWAY, to make a very long story much shorter, we managed to fix the flat and my canoe was up and running in no time. I thanked my crew, gave them the last of the ice cream and continued on my way to the funny farm where giant pigs can actually fly. Trust me, someday you will appreciate this story....

Author's note: I am running on very little sleep and not enough coffee. The above only happens in my world so don't worry about your own sanity, just enjoy the ride with me...



INEZ, EMILIO & PACO



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INEZ, EMILIO & PACO: June 2013. Yup, I am late again with this post BUT, in my defense, this blog site has had more problems lately than I can shake a stick at! Speaking of shaking sticks, that's exactly what these three young sock monkeys do, shake sticks.  What kind of a profession is that you may ask? Well, apparently a good one. These three characters will hide in odd places and as soon as they see something out of the ordinary, they will jump out and shake their sticks at you and yell "I've seen you (insert verb) more times than I can shake a stick at". For example, to my husband "I've seen you pick more nose hairs than I can shake a stick at" or, to my mother "I've seen you drive at 40 in a 60 zone more times than I can shake a stick at" or, to me "I've seen you fail miserably at mastering this thing called parenting more times than I can shake a stick at". I honestly could go on and after awhile, it gets bloody annoying. I've decided next time they jump out at me with their sticks, I will grab them and beat them with their own sticks - none of this stick shaking for me, just stick smacking. That's the way I role...

ATHENA, LING & PRIME

ATHENA, LING & PRIME: June 2013. So, interesting story here. It all starts with a water balloon fight that ended in an ice cream brain freeze/head butt incident.
Athena and Ling thought it would be fun to fill water balloons and pelt Prime with them when he got home from the store. Good idea right? Wrong. Un-beknownst to them, Prime had bought a package of Jello crystals and a small bag of pop-rocks, which of course, were stuffed in his pocket and as soon as they started throwing the water balloons at him, he was saturated with water in seconds (Sock monkeys throw fast). This caused his jello crystals to clump and expand AND his pop-rocks to start popping in his pocket - WHICH, can really hurt - or so I'm told...
Prime was soooo sticky from Jello and pop rocks, he could hardly run up the stairs to beat the living snot outta Athena and Ling for destroying his afternoon snack. When he finally made it up, they were sitting as sweetly as could be with three bowls of ice cream and invited Prime to have a lovely snack with them. Well, no Sock monkey can resist ice cream and as Prime was distracted, he forgot why he was angry and ate the ice cream. HOWEVER, they kept eating, and eating and eating ice cream until all three had terrible brain freezes! In order to get rid of the brain freeze, they decided it would be wise to start butting heads and fool their brains into dealing with another kind of pain (okay, they weren't the brightest "bulbs in the pack"). Instead of getting rid of their brain freezes, they all ended up in hospital with minor concussions and bruises and a strong lecture form the doctor about "no more monkey's jumping on the bed", (I think he was on drugs).
ANYWAY, the moral of this story? Sometimes it's easier to make lemonade than pancakes during an alien invasion. Oh yeah... and NO ONE wins in a head butt.....

SCOOTER, HERMES & RUSTY

SCOOTER: June 2013: Scooter once had a job as a food photographer and was actually making quite a decent living at it until that fateful day in September. While photographing a hamburger with fries, Scooter saw a young lady with a banana split and vanilla smoothie. As Scooter hadn't eaten that day, he couldn't resist the banana split and attacked the young lady. Not only did he get the banana split and eat in in one mouthful, he also slurped down the smoothie and let out one gigantic belch. Unfortunately for him, the young lady happened to be the owners daughter and Scooter was banned from photographing food at his establishment again. The owner went one step further (as Scooter accidentally bit his daughter in the attack) and had his name blacklisted in every restaurant. Now Scooter takes pictures of nothing. Bad Scooter.

HERMES: June 2013. Hermes rhymes with germies which is appropriate as Hermes is a "germaphobic". He can't touch ANYTHING without having his disinfectant wipes with him or his antibacterial sanitary wash in his hands at all times. Even the simplest thing like opening a door brings out the wipes and wash. AND, you don't want to watch him when he blows his nose - that antibacterial wash can't be good for you squirted up there... Poor germie Hermes.

RUSTY: June 2013. Rusty is an amazing "uni-cycler". He can cycle circles around you on your regular bike and still have time to do wheelies and jumps. He loves to show off and make you feel incompetent on your bike. Why he can even do hand stands while drinking a glass of water and singing the Bohemian Rhapsody backwards. That little Rusty sure is amazing. What's that Rusty? Someone slashed your tire? That's too bad...

SKITTLES, ZORRO & ROCKY

SKITTLES: May 2013. Skittles has decided that the end of the world should be on some obscure day like February 19th or November 27th. It doesn't matter what year, just something out of the ordinary. AND, why link it to some comet or planet alignment? Why not something like February 19th is the day Stanley Goosenheiser accidentally trips while cleaning the White House and lands on the "big red button". OR, on November 27th, the DoDo bird is brought back to life at some genetic testing facility and releases toxic gases from his butt that kills humans? THESE THINGS CAN HAPPEN PEOPLE!!!
ZORRO: May 2013. Zorro has a mask. I made him take it off for the picture but he refused to remove his cape. According to him, his cape has all his super powers and if I remove it, he will become an ankle sock rather than the knee high that he is. Not wanting to start a huge debate on the powers of capes, I let him keep it on and asked him to use his invisibility power for the cape. He agreed. Hence, no cape in the picture. I wonder if he'll figure out that I won...
ROCKY: May 2013. Rocky lost a tooth the other night and cried like a man being nailed in the... well, you know what I mean. After we finally calmed him down and told him about the tooth fairy, he was anxious to see what would be left under his pillow. However, he just started crying like a man who got nailed in the nu -oops! Well, he just became a big baby when all he got under his pillow was an old banana and one a pair of clean underwear. Rocky is not very "Rocky-like"....

SMOKEY & MALLORY

SMOKEY: May 2013.  Smokey just recently lost his job and is starting to annoy all the other Sock Monkeys with his constant presence and whining. SO, if there's anyone out there that is looking for a "Toothbrush Tester", please contact me and I'll pass Smokey's information your way. He is amazing at testing all types of toothbrushes and then packaging them to make them look brand new. Seriously, no one has figured out yet that all toothbrushes are tested on monkeys before they are sold in the store - that's how good he is. Sooooo.... call us! Smokey's eager to work again and we're eager to see him go..... back to work that is.
MALLORY: May 2013. Mallory just figured out what it is that Smokey does for a living. She has been puking for an hour straight now....