FEBRUARY.....AHHHHHHH!!!!

TARSUS & KENO - February 2013.

BAFFIN & HIGGENS - February 2013

VERA, PANDA & NIXIE - February 2013.

I must apologize to anyone who still follows this blog (Bev). This month has been rather "taxing" on me and my family, and I have been lazy and not very attentive to things that matter - like my Sock Monkeys and this Blog. I will step up now and remedy the situation by being a little more diligent and make sure that I continually update and blog. Seriously, it gives me such pleasure and it's a great creative release to me so why have I neglected it? But folks (Bev), this is not about me. This is about the above Sock Monkeys. So without further pause, here goes the bios....

TARSUS, KENO, BAFFIN, HIGGENS, VERA, PANDA & NIXIE: All created in February of 2013 and all lucky they made it to the end of February without being dismantled limb by limb. These seven monkeys have been the "bain of my existence" for almost a month with the whole "when are you gonna write about us?", "why aren't you blogging?", "we're important too you know!", "that's it, we're taking things into our own hands - how do you turn on a computer?", "we've decided to vote you off the island", "you friggen' suck!", "snap out of it you big baby!"  I could go on but then I'd just get angry and someone would end up crying - probably me....

Needless to say, I sent these Sock Monkeys to the store and am happy to report they have all found new homes. Except Vera, but she's kind of a bitch.

Once again, thank you my faithful followers (Bev), and I shall make a point to blog more often in the coming month.

Author's note: Vera really isn't a bitch, I just said that for comic relief. And if you believe that then you'll also believe I have a giant living in my closet who only comes out at night and cooks eggplant in the microwave while reading Moby Dick to his pet walrus Barry.

BLACK BEAUTY & SNOW WHITE

BLACK BEAUTY & SNOW WHITE: February 2013. Well, I could go for the obvious here and tell you these two were named for famous children's stories and write their bio's around them BUT, that would just be too easy - especially since these two Sock Monkey's have nothing to do with those stories. Actually, Black Beauty and Snow White aren't even their real names.
These two Sock Monkey's are pole dancers at the local strip club "Monkey's Gone Wild" and Black Beauty and Snow White are just their stage names. Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, you can catch these two and their act around midnight on stage. Their act consists of a lot of spinning, climbing, winking, three french hens, two turtle doves and an Ocelot on a pole. They kinda suck come to think of it but hey, it's a living. Don't miss out on the next show - you're in for a real treat!

CHOPIN, REX, BRAMBLE & SARINA

CHOPIN, REX, BRAMBLE & SARINA: January 2013.  These four sock monkeys recently went on a Safari in my son's bedroom. They climbed mounds of dirty clothing, dealt with live bacteria from moldy sandwiches and rotten fruit, suffered under the harsh lights of his 500 watt lamp,  battled dust bunnies the size of rodents, almost strangled by unruly chords for Ipods, cell phones and stereo wires and slept in a tent made from old slightly damp towels. These four adventurous souls were gone for over a week before I was brave enough to venture in and wade through the depths to rescue them. Although they were slightly starved after living on potato chip remnants and sticky candy parts, they came out relatively unscathed and happy to take a bath for the first time....

Author's note: Anyone else have the same issues with their teenage sons rooms? No? Just me? Yikes... 

WALTER, ELAINE & ZINNIA

These next three Sock Monkeys are all single ones that were made for people with a specific person in mind. They all went to their respective homes at Christmas and I hear were received with love and big smiles!

Walter.
This young fellow went to a gentleman in B.C. who happens to be the brother of the lady whom works in the store that I sell my Sock Monkey's at. Walter and his owner Bradley like to hang out together and take long walks in the rain.

Elaine
When this Sock Monkey was requested, it had to be "red & black" and "you have to name her for my friend Elaine". No problem. I just happened to have a pair of red & black knee highs in my pile and since I haven't named a monkey "Elaine" yet, it worked well. I hear she was received with a bouquet of flowers that had been wrapped in her arms. What a great idea!

Zinnia
When Zinnia was requested, the socks were actually chosen from my pile and named by the young gentleman who bought him. My understanding is that purple Zinnias are a favourite flower for the lady who was on the receiving end of this monkey - all the way in Halifax. what a fantastic place for this Sock Monkey to travel to.

Author's note: You see - not all my monkeys have twisted stories! Some are quite lovely characters and go to fantastic homes. And me? Well, I end up feeling good about doing something nice.

VALENCIA, STARDUST & TWEED

VALENCIA: January 2013. Valencia is a regular fixture at the local Monkey Tail Bar and you can find her hanging out on the 3rd set of lights over the pool table. Most of her time is spent making fun of the people who attempt to play pool and really have no idea what they're doing. I can't begin to tell you how many light fixtures have been broken as angry humans swing their pool cues at her after she's let out a string of not so nice comments. To date, no one has made contact with her and the end of their pool cue  but, I'm sure when it happens it won't be a good scene...
STARDUST: January 2013. I know, I know, not a very original name considering there are stars all over this sock monkey. However, I believe I have made close to 650 sock monkeys now and sometimes names don't come easy. Stardust doesn't seem to really care. He was actually hoping for something more exciting like "Starstruck" or "Starkiller" but when it came right down to it, Stardust was the most appropriate and fit his character well.
TWEED: January 2013. Tweed smoked weed after he peed and planted a seed to fulfill his need of more weed. Pretty clever hey?
Author's note: Absolutely NONE of my sock monkeys smoke weed. Well, that I know of anyway....

LIBBY & TOOTSIE

LIBBY & TOOTSIE: January 2013. If you look closely at these two, you'll find that they are made from "Playboy" socks with the iconic bunny symbol. I decided one had to be a sock bunny and one a sock monkey.
Both Libby and Tootsie have never posed for Playboy magazine but they have been buck naked for the first edition of "Drop Your Socks" magazine (due out this month). Not only will this magazine feature naked sock critters, it will also feature many wonderful and thought provoking stories that most people will buy the magazine for...not for the pictures of course. Anyway, Libby and Tootsie will be the first centerfold and WOW! These two were made for the camera and nakedness. The magazine will be available at your local Adult Entertainment Store and costs only $12.99. Check it out - you're gonna love it!

GATOR, LANCE, MINX & MARQUETTE

GATOR: January 2013. Just because Gator's name is Gator does not in anyway mean that he likes or collects or eats gators. As a matter of fact, Gator has never even seen an alligator and would probably run away, screaming like a little girl if he encountered one. Gator's kind of a sissy that way. He does however like ceramic jewelery and once found a brooch in the shape of a gator. Does that count?
LANCE: January 2013. Lance has a dream to be the checkered flag at an Indie race car event. I can totally picture it. As the winning car is rounding the last turn on the home stretch and four other cars are battling it out to over take him, one smashes into the side of another and causes a huge accident, wheels exploding, pieces of cars flying through the air, the crowd being littered with automotive debris and there at the finish line is someone whipping around a checkered monkey by his tail as they race toward the finish line. Awesome!!
MINX: January 2013. All I can think of when I named Minx is that pivotal part in the movie "Love Actually" when Hugh Grant (who's character is the prime minister of England) glances at a picture of past Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and calls her a "saucy little minx". Now, say that with an English accent and it's actually a bit "naughty" (another great English word). ANYWAY, Minx just reminds me of that part in the movie and since it happens to be one of my all time favourite movies, it really doesn't matter that I did not write a bio on Minx and just talked up the "Love Actually" movie instead. If you haven't seen it yet, rent it.
MARQUETTE: January 2013. Marquette fell off the bed and bumped his head the other day while a slew of Sock Monkeys were playing the game "NO More Monkey's Jumping On The Bed". I actually didn't have to call the doctor but I did say "No more monkey's jumping on the bed"!! Didn't seem to matter since as soon as I walked away they all started the game again. I have come to the conclusion though, if you can't beat them, may as well join them. Man have I got a huge bump on my head though....