ROSA GOLDING: Born - October 23rd. Rosa Golding can't seem to dig her way out of her depression. She has tried many times to rise above the waves but, seems to get pulled under more often than she'd like. Why is Rosa Golding depressed? She is depressed because she lives her life in the shadow of others, never really making a name for herself (although "Rosa Golding" is a very cool name). Okay. This is depressing just writing a depressing bio. Roas Golding is NOT depressed and lives a very happy and authentic life. Yeesh!
LONZO: Born - October 24th. Lonzo works as a parts man in a local dealership. He's kind of moody and whines a lot. No one likes to play with him. They don't let him near the photo copier and they definitely don't leave scissors near his desk. On weekends though, he is a pole dancer at the Monkey Tail Bar and makes a ton of money. Everyone loves "Lonzo the Lover" when he's out working the pole....
GISELLE: Born - October 25th. Giselle just had hip surgery for the 7th time. It started when she rode her bike off a small cliff at age 4. Now, at 22, she just looks the wrong way at a set of stairs and her hip gives out. Mind you, if I had birthed 31 monkeys, my hips would probably have given out as well. At this point, we are looking for a hip donor. If you know of anyone who doesn't need a hip anymore, let me know and we'll be over with the surgeon.
MILO, TILLIE & BASIL: Born - October 20th, 21st & 22nd respectively. So, there I am in a kids clothing store in Edmonton and this 3-pack of socks just jumps out at me. Not kidding! It seriously "jumped" off the rack, and landed in front of me on the floor. I picked up the pack and these three lovely socks were inside. How could I resist them? I had them named before I paid for the package...
Milo, Tillie and Basil knew they were meant to be created into sock monkeys, NOT worn by some young child who would wear holes into their heels and lose them in the dryer. They also knew exactly who to throw themselves at in the store. Weird. Anyway, here they are in all their glory - ready to be donated to a child who will love them soooooo much that they will still end up with holes in their heels - just hopefully not lost in the dryer... Ironic hey?
POOKIE: Born - October 17th. Pookie is a sweet little companion to all Sock Monkeys and plays well with other critters. He likes to hang out at the watering hole and play tag with anyone (or thing) that will play with him. Most of the time he can get a good crowd together and have an excellent game of tag however, on the occasion no one's around, it get's rather boring for him. Have you ever tried playing tag with yourself? Well, Pookie has and it's not much fun...
BRENDA: Born - October 18th. Where do I start with Brenda? So many stories, so little time. I guess the most important thing you need to know is that she is a top notch friend and can make you laugh so hard you almost pee your pants. Mostly you're laughing AT her, but, that's because she does the goofiest things - not intentionally either... I love Brenda and her ability to laugh at herself, her kindness and generosity. You totally ROCK!!
MOO: Born - October 19th. Why is Moo named Moo? I'll tell you why. For the longest time, all Moo could say was "Moo". He'd say two moos for yes and one for no. Depending on the articulation and tones of his "Moo", you knew exactly what he meant and how he was feeling. The Scientists of the Sock Monkey kingdom actually studied him and developed a language that has helped them to communicate with cows! How amazing is that?? Cows don't like being tipped. Thought you might like to know. Anyway, Moo can now talk and speaks four different languages - cat, dog, pig and cow of course.
BINKY: Born - October 15th. Binky is a small business owner and sells bottles of dust bunnies to scientific research labs all across Canada. She sneaks into our homes and quietly collects the unsuspecting dust bunnies. Don't look now, but that's probably her under your couch collecting her specimen. What? YOU don't have dust bunnies? That's like saying you don't have a functioning brain. Wait...am I talking to a guy? Hmmmmmm... bad comparison. Anyway, Binky makes a ton of money selling these dust bunnies and since they're just dust, they don't seem to mind.
SETTA: Born - October 16th. Setta rhymes with Jetta which is a fancy car. Setta is NOT a car. Setta is a Sock Monkey. Glad we cleared this up.
Author's note: Hey, I was TOTALLY kidding about the whole "guy" thing and "non-functioning brain" thing. Really.
SIR EVERMORE GREYSOCK: Born - October 14th. He wasn't always Sir Evermore Greysock. His real name is Jerry. The story is a little twisted BUT, if you stay with me to the end of it, you'll understand the new name.
Jerry had a problem. Every time he tried to turn left, he would go right. This wasn't too difficult to work around and eventually Jerry would figure out creative ways to get from point A to point B. One day, Jerry was daydreaming and ended up in a bar - the Monkey Tail Bar to be precise. He decided to have a Banana and licorice shooter to waste some time while he figured out how he was going to get to point B. You know how it goes. One shooter turns into two, turns into three and before you know it, you've fallen into a vat of grey dye. Okay, maybe not everyone has experienced that but, this is how Jerry became grey. He was solid red before. He managed to keep some of his body parts out of the dye but as you can clearly see, he's not a great swimmer. Jerry was so embarrassed and was the laughing stock of the Sock Monkey kingdom for a very long time. Whenever he went out, people shouted "hey Greysock!' or "hey not red" or "look at the ever grey monkey" or "hey dumb ass"...ooops...sorry...not sure where that came from....
ANYWAY, his name became "Sir Evermore Greysock" and now no one (including Jerry) remembers his real name. True story.
Author's note: Sir Evermore Greysock still struggles with the whole right/left thing HOWEVER, he doesn't day dream anymore.
MARY & MAURY: Born - October 12th & 13th. Yup, another set of twins, only this time they are male/female twins. Mary and Maury were raised on a small ranch in the southern regions of Australia. They both love to surf and chase crocodiles at midnight. This can come in handy when crocodiles escape Zoos and try and eat anyone within chomping reach. That's right. These two Down-under crocodile wranglers love to play with crocs. Once they've captured them, they teach them a nicer way to use their chompers - like cracking open walnuts or ripping apart chip bags or grinning for toothpaste commercials. It's all very civilized and most rehabilitated crocodiles become fine young contributing reptiles in the animal world. Come on - it could happen. Doesn't anyone read Richard Scarry books anymore???
TYRONE: Born - October 9th. Tyrone is a boxer. Not just an ordinary boxer, but one who also boxes with his tail. Sometimes this can be difficult as the shorts they give him don't have holes for his tail however, he has since worked that kink out. He wears his boxer shorts backwards so his tail can hang out as needed...Anyway, he is World Champion 3 times over in the ISMBL (International Sock Monkey Boxing League) and will be going for his fourth title next month. We're all rooting for Tyrone (otherwise he'll kick our asses..).
FAMILIA: Born - October 10th. What kind of a name is Familia you may ask? It is Spanish for "Family" and as today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada, I wanted to honor that with a Sock Monkey named for what I am most thankful for. Not just my relations, but all my friends whom I have considered family over the years and who sometimes stick by me more than my related family does... AND of course, my Sock Monkey family!! You have kept me sane and saved my life more times than I can count. I love my FAMILIA!!!
ALEJANDRO: Born - October 11th. So, in case you didn't know, Alejandro happens to be my husbands name as well. It is also our 14th wedding anniversary today - well, we've been together 17 years but legally 14 - but I digress. This man is the love of my life... okay, I'm pushing it a bit here... Actually, he truly is my soul mate and it has taken us 17 years, 3 kids, some ups and downs, thrown in with a few "in-law" issues, sibling squabbles, numerous cats & dogs not to mention broken vehicles, falling apart house, tripping over sock monkey parts and all the other joys that come with marriage (I'm sure you all know them), for us to be as happy and content as we are. So, in honor of my incredible husband, I give you Alejandro, the Sock Monkey.
