DOUGIE, ALLEGRA & FRANNY

DOUGIE: Born - May 17th. Dougie is addicted to coffee. He can drink upwards of three pots by noon. He special orders his coffee in from Canterbury and only drinks the Espresso or Dark Roast. When they arrive, Dougie has this insane little dance he does which only gets better with the more coffee he drinks. Only beans. Dougie LOVES to freshly grind his coffee and mixes his own blend with a touch of Highlander Grogg or Vanilla. I absolutely LOVE having coffee with Dougie - a monkey after my own heart....
ALLEGRA: Born - May 18th. Allegra was an extra in the second "Iron Man" movie. You may have seen her at the beginning when the big Expo is on and the crowd is going a little wild. She's the monkey hanging from the TV camera you catch a glimpse of at the edge of the stage. Though Allegra enjoyed being in the movie, she was a little disappointed she didn't get to meet Robert Downey Jr.  She did get a small look at his backside when he was leaving the backstage area though. According to Allegra, he has a sweet backside.....just saying.
FRANNY: Born - May 19th. Franny hails from Ft. Smith and lives in a cabin on a quiet pond just outside of town. Franny used to own two pugs who would faithfully drool on her lap and cause problems with her stuffing. She eventually had to invent a plastic bib that was large enough to cover her entire body AND have pockets to hold treats for the pugs. This was all fine and dandy until the pugs got carried away and shredded the plastic body apron, swallowed pieces and barfed it up on Franny. Thus starting the whole process of messed up stuffing again....

CHEQ-Z & SHAKESPEARE

CHEQ-Z: Born - May 14th. Cheq-z loves to hang out on the washer during the spin cycle. He will hang on for dear life as the washer rattles through the cycle and won't let go for anything. I remember him flying through the air once when he lost his grip and the washer was a little over loaded causing the spin cycle to be extra crazy!! Good ole Cheq-z landed on his head, shook it off, jumped back on the washer and went for another ride! His head wound wasn't too severe and the concussion went away after the second spin cycle....
SHAKESPEARE: Born - May 16th. NO, Shakespeare is NOT some kind of freakish monkey scholar type. As a matter of fact, he flunked out of every English class known to mankind. So what is his claim to fame and why the name Shakespeare? Well, Shakespeare can recite every Shakespeare sonet backwards AND drink a glass of water at the same time. Okay, I'm just kidding - everyone knows Sock Monkeys don't drink water... Anyway, he's a really cool monkey and though he's not great with the English language, he rocks in Jibberish...

Author's note: If you're wondering why the 15th is missing from the above bio's, check out "HOOTIE" on this blog and you'll figure it out!!

HOOTIE

HOOTIE

HOOTIE: Born: May 15th. In honor of my sister's birthday, I created yet another Sock Goblin, wrapped him up, put him in a box and mailed him off to her in Ottawa! I am posting now because in Ottawa it is already her birthday therefore, it is safe to post and tell the story of Hootie....

Hootie is a photographer. Not just any ole' photographer but one who takes up close pictures of the very rare Okapi. Hootie still hasn't figured out if it's a giraffe or zebra but has informed me that it's ancestry is the Giraffe family. However, when you look at the pictures of them, their markings are similar to the Zebra. So, you tell me, giraffe or zebra? Hootie has also dabbled in photography for Sock Monkey weddings. He only does that when he needs cash fast and actually hates dealing with wedding parties. If you've ever had the good fortune of attending a Sock Monkey wedding, it's a fricken' gong show! Monkeys absolutely everywhere! Picking food out of each others hair, swinging from chandeliers, too much banana daiquiri drinking, indecent monkey business going on in the corners, pretty much a nightmare for a photographer. I hear the pictures sell well on the black market though.... ANYWAY, Hootie prefers to patiently photograph the elusive Okapi. Though it's not a high paying job, it keeps him out of trouble with the bridesmaids....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLINDA!!

JENNICA, ANTONIO & CLAIRE

JENNICA: Born - May 11th. Jennica is a monkey tattoo artist. All the sock monkeys go to her if they want a tattoo as Jennica is an amazing artist. Seriously, her stick monkey's are amazing! She has perfected her design - only one - and will gladly tattoo it anywhere on a sock monkeys body. So, if you're into sock monkeys and would like a stick sock monkey tattoo, you know who to call. You can check out her design on http://www.stickmonkeytattoo.com/ and decide for yourself if it's something you can live with forever.
ANTONIO: Born - May 12th. Antonio is from Venezuela. He somehow got stuck in a crate full of bananas and ended up here in the north. He was cleverly hiding in a bunch of bananas I bought at the Northern Store. First I thought it was an extremely large spider - which I was about to smash with a hammer - but WHOA! There was Antonio looking all sweet and pathetic so I decided to keep him. We sent word home to his folks that he's alright. Watch out though, his folks may be hiding in your next bunch of bananas.....
CLAIRE: Born - May 13th. Claire recently came back from a 12 Step Program dealing with her phobia which is: Genuphobia, the fear of knees. Thus far, Claire has managed to bend at the knees a few times without letting out a scream AND, she can sing "head & shoulders, knees & toes" without going into fits of terror. We are very proud of her and have been encouraging her to continue this brave step of conquering her fears. Way to go Claire!!!

Author's note: Okay, the website only went to Google and when googled, it will take you to a site called "Stinky Monkey Tattoos". This of course offended the 133 sock monkeys I have already made that hang out in my room, as we all know, there's NO SUCH THING as a STINKY monkey... Now, as far as smashing a spider with a hammer goes, it was just to spice up the bio. Anyone who knows me will attest to me being a bug lover and picking up critters and then sending them on their way. Further more, Genuphobia IS real and we should never make fun of phobias.....ever....
  

LIL' JAKE & LIL' JIMMY

LIL' JAKE: Born - May 9th. Lil' Jake is another member of the "Little" family. He is the tallest of his brothers and loves to tease them about it. Lil'Jake has an obsession with hair care products though and LOVES to walk up and down the aisles at the local Drug Store and smell all the shampoos. Once in awhile, if he recognizes a scent, he will attach himself to your hair and not let go until he's had his smelling fix of your shampoo. Always try to go with an unscented product. Trying to pry a sock monkey out of your hair can be rather painful and end up in hair loss.... Balding women everywhere - not a great sight....
LIL' JIMMY: Born - May 10th. Lil' Jimmy is the youngest of his siblings and as the pecking order goes in most families, was picked on quite a bit by his brothers. Though he likes to think he came out of it with no emotional scars, there are those odd moments when he zones out and has a quirky smile on his face. You'd swear he was planning something and acting it out in his brain.... Revenge is NEVER the answer (but it sure feels good thinking about it....).

CAPTAIN KA-POW, HUMPHREY & L'TICIA

CAPTAIN KA-POW:  Born - May 6th. Captain Ka-Pow is NOT what you think he may be, you know, some kind of Super Hero. He is NOT able to leap buildings in a single bound and shoot webbing from his wrists. He doesn't drive cool cars and have a sidekick named Robin NOR does he change colour and grow into a hulking huge monkey. As a matter of fact, Captain Ka-pow is just a name. Get over your comic book fascinations people and come back to reality! He's JUST a sock monkey!! Well.....maybe he can peel a banana in under 2 seconds and climbs trees faster than a speeding bullet....

HUMPHREY: Born - May 7th. Humphrey is kind of a grumpy Sock Monkey (I think that's a give away in his name). He really reminds me of Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in the movie "Grumpy Old Men". As a young sock monkey he never really played well with others and kept to himself most of the time. No one has ever really tried to figure out why he's so grumpy and when I asked, I was snorted at and Humphrey walked away. I think he should see a Sock Monkey Shrink. Can anyone suggest someone? Come on - I'm sure you've all had your share of shrinks in your lifetime...don't be shy. Call me.

L'TICIA:  Born - May 8th. L'Ticia is my Mother's Day Sock Monkey this year. What a perfect choice for a Mother's Day representative. She has had 27 babies and never seems to lose control with them. She is patient, kind, gentle, loving and would do anything to protect her young. L'Ticia is one of those mother's you envy and only wish you could be half as good as her. I mean, how does one live with 27 kids and never lose it??? This Sock Monkey deserves a medal - and I will give it to her as soon as she leaves the Mental Institution she resides at.....

UMA, ROO, OKIE, ALDO & ZENA

UMA, ROO, OKIE, ALDO & ZENA: Born - May 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th respectively. These five tiny sock monkeys are just what I needed to start my month off on a sweet and colourful note. All five are made from baby socks and surprisingly, they all have very different personalities. NEVER underestimate a cute Sock Monkey....
Uma loves to chew tobacco - not very appealing but she swears it makes her taste buds "pop". Roo has a bad habit of playing in the toilet bowl - I won't say what state the bowl is in... Okie isn't really that much of a talker but you give her a cup of coffee and she can talk for hours about garden gnomes. Aldo? Well he's just plain crazy about shoes - especially stilettos... As for Zena, she thinks she was a Sumu wrestler in another life and stomps around in diapers most of the time.
Yup, there you have it. Sweet looking on the outside but a little warped on the inside. Now you see why I like hanging around with these Monkeys...