Sunday, September 16, 2012


TOPI, KAIDA & LENA: Born - September 2012. These three sock monkeys recently read in a magazine somewhere that most sock monkeys only have a lifetime of about 2 years. This is due largely to the fact that their owners - mostly children - abuse and neglect them to the point of stuffing falling out of holes, eyes being torn off and other limbs disappearing. AND, let's not forget the family dog using them as chew toys. Topi, Kaida and Lena have decided to start a shelter for abused Sock Monkeys. At this point, the shelter happens to be in my craft room. I don't mind stitching up monkey parts, attaching new limbs, repairing holes etc. I DO mind having to deal with the Sock Monkey Social Services. I'm warning you folks, if you're going to own a Sock Monkey, treat it well. The Sock Monkey Social Services councillors take their job very seriously and before you know it, the Sock Monkey Police have you in front of a Sock Monkey Judge and Jury (of mostly apes and chimpanzees) and, you can spend up to 3 years in a Sock Monkey jail if you're found guilty of abuse and neglect. Yes, you'll get three good meals a day and maybe an hour of yard time BUT, what goes on behind closed doors is indescribable. The last person they sent there managed to leak information and it wasn't pretty. He was forced to eat rotten bananas, swing from fake trees and chandeliers, pick lice out of fellow inmates hair AND learn sign language. This was only a fraction of what he told us, the rest can't be written in this blog...
The moral of this story is, don't mess with your damn sock monkey!!
Author's note: Okay. So there's no such thing as the above Sock Monkey Social Services or Police or Judge. I checked on the internet and all that came up was a report on stolen vintage Sock Monkeys. Not kidding.

No comments:

Post a Comment