DONGLE & LACEY

DONGLE: Born - November 2012. Dongle likes to dongle his set of "donglers" in front of unsuspecting innocent old ladies and let me tell you, his "donglers" are quite the dandy donglers... Most of the elderly ladies around here don't mind him dongling the donglers as they've never seen a pair of dongles quite like that before - which is why you don't hear reports over your scanners about some sick sock bunny with a set of huge donglers scaring little old ladies. You do hear about it at "Ladies Night Out For Seniors" at the library though...
LACEY: Born - November 2012. Lacey is Dongle's sister and follows him around mostly to beat the little old ladies off him. Don't judge.
Author's note: NO little old ladies were hurt or otherwise visually assaulted during the writing of this fictitious biography. AND, get your mind out of the gutter - I never mentioned what the "donglers" actually were now did I?

MOXIE, BENEDICT & SANTIAGO

MOXIE: Born - November 2012. Moxie captures wild donkeys and tames their adventurous spirit. 
BENEDICT: Born - November 2012. Benedict sells the donkeys that Moxie tames to the circus and roving Gypsies to use as pack mules.
SANTAGO: Born - November 2012. Santiago steals the donkeys that Moxie trains and Benedict sells, from the circus and roving Gypsies so they can be wild and live freely in the wilderness....and unfortunately become easy bait for large predators...
Author's note: I don't think there are wild donkeys out there...just an observation.

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN!



FANG, HECTOR & ZINDER: October 2012. Three young sock monsters all done up for a night on the town. Mind you, that would be a night of drinking and debauchery so do they really need to be that done up?? Come on folks, sometimes even a paper bag over your head is all you need to be "done up" enough to enjoy an evening out. Try it sometime, you may like it. Unless of course you already have and it has left you with only sad stories to tell. In which case, don't try it again...not a good idea. 



SKULLY, LORD MANSON & HOCUS: OCTOBER 2012. So, these three sock monsters refuse to get involved with the above sock monsters as it never seems to end well. The last time these three went out with Fang, Hector and Zinder, I got a 3 a.m. wakeup call from the cops saying Skully, Lord Manson and Hocus were strung up and partially duct taped to the Inukshuk outside our Town Hall. Not a pretty sight and no, I didn't take pictures...
Author's note: to whomever decides to buy any of these six monsters, you'd be wise to keep them separated and away from duct tape...

ADELE, ARIES & TATE

ADELE: October 2012. Raised in a barn, Adele has never figured out how to close doors. If I had a dime for every time I found the door left open, I'd be a wealthy lady. Which by the way, would be a good thing since I'd have to spend all my money on the heating bill as the cold hangs out in my house and the heat heads outside for a friendly romp in the snow. I won't be teaching Adele how to open the windows anytime soon...
ARIES: October 2012. Aries never found the kite he lost in the wind storm last April and is STILL sulking. Little does he know that it was found a week later but so damaged we had to throw it away. Since this kite meant so much to him, we didn't have the heart to tell him and let him think it's still out there, flying around in some distant winds, soaring to new places and having a grand adventure. Cruel? Maybe. Until you've listened to Aries whine about his kite, don't judge.
TATE: October 2012. Tate has a knee fetish. You can take that any way you want as I refuse to write about what he does when he attaches himself to one of my guests knees. Let's just say Tate has been called "inappropriate" many times...

JABBA, CHOI & HAZE

JABBA - October 2012. Jabba is a cat nanny. This involves training the cat, playing with the cat, feeding the cat, grooming the cat and of course cleaning the cat litter. Jabba thought it would be cool to decorate the kitty litter box and believe it or not, has been asked by quite a few families to decorate their kitty litter boxes as well. I think Jabba is on to something. Now if she could only "decorate" the smell as easily as the litter box, she'd really be on to something!!
CHOI - October 2012. Choi seriously hates carrots which is odd as she's a Sock Bunny and all bunnies eat carrots.  That's about as weird as a Sock Monkey not liking bananas! What next? No banana daiquiris? No homemade carrot whiskey? What is the Sock Bunny & Monkey world coming to???
HAZE: October 2012. Haze pretty much lives in a daze. This can be attributed to the massive amount of weed he smokes and then quotes his favourite movie "Dude, Where's my Car?" over and over again until your laughing so hard you start snorting. Obviously you are contact high. Go with it.

BUTLER, PAWS & CLAIRE

BUTLER: October 2012. Let me make one thing clear. Butler is NOT a butler. I know, I know, the whole name thing makes it awkward. However, should you accidentally ask him if he's a butler, be prepared to have this Sock Monkey lose it all over your a**. I'm not really sure why he's so touchy about it but just be aware that he is and you've been fairly warned.
PAWS: October 2012. Paws was named "Paws" as he was continually being told to "keep his paws off" or "get your paws outta there" or "clean your grubby paws". You get the idea. I won't even begin to tell you what they were referring to when they said "keep your paws off"...
CLAIRE: October 2012. Sweet little calm Claire. She  reminds me of this tiny two year old I know who is about the yummiest little girl you'd ever want to meet. Sweet disposition, petite features, gorgeous green eyes and what a mischievous yet sparkling smile. Makes me almost want to have another one. I meant another sock monkey NOT another kid!! Yikes! That would be a nightmare!

LORD ROSEPETAL



This is "Lord Rosepetal". He is a sock monster. He's got horns and spikes down his back and at the tip of his tail is a small spike. He's actually quite a sweet fellow and would never harm anyone - even with those giant fangs. Lord Rosepetal just doesn't have it in him to be nasty or unkind. Now you're thinking "maybe he's not the sock monster for me then". Well good, 'cause he's not! Lord Rosepetal was created for the towns annual Halloween teen dance known as "Spookarama" and will be given away as one of the donations throughout the night. I would also like to thank my son Weston for naming him. You were right son. Your name suits him better than the one I had chosen. I look at Lord Rosepetal now and can't imagine him as a "Scott" or "Tom" - not that I would name him those, just that he's not one of those. Now I'm rambling.

Anyway, who ever ends up with him for a prize, I hope they appreciate Lord Rosepetal and treat him well.