HAYWOOD, PANDA, OSHAWA & LORENZO

HAYWOOD: October 2012. Haywood has never admitted to it but I think he's the sock monkey that continually leaves the banana peels lying around on my floors. One time, at supper, I stepped on one of those peels and landed so hard on my butt I couldn't sit for a week. This of course, did not go over well with me and I threatened  to "unstuff" whichever sock monkey it was that left that peel out. Though no one has stepped forward, I have my suspicions as Haywood is always leaving stuff around and he does eat a lot of bananas...
PANDA: October 2012. Panda also wiped out on a banana peel but unlike me, was only laid up for a day. His solution to this problem was to invent a banana peel detector that he wears on his head at all times. It doesn't really work BUT, it's so heavy that it weighs his head down and therefore he is always looking down. He never misses a banana peel now. Clever sock monkey.
OSHAWA: October 2012. While Oshawa has not yet wiped out on a banana peel, he has come close a few times. How he misses them every time I'll never figure out. He has some kind of uncanny third sense that keeps him from slipping on peels. He also manages to avoid getting run over when he crosses the highway in the middle of lunch hour traffic.  Come to think of it, he also avoids trains when he's playing on the tracks and logging trucks on the bush trails. Perhaps it's not a third sense and instead is a "sock monkey angel" watching out for him. Lucky bastard.
LORENZO: October 2012. Lorenzo is continually picking up after all the sock monkey's and never wipes out on anything as he's too busy cleaning up what ever he could wipe out on. I think he's the smartest one of us all and deserves a medal for all the cleaning he does. I also think he knows exactly who is leaving those damn banana peels on the floor and is just too nice to rat him out. Time to threaten him with an "unstuffing" and see how long it takes before he talks...

BLAST! I DID IT AGAIN!!

ANDORA, HANZ & BUSTER

SAFFRON, DENIM & ELLA

You know, this is what happens when you have way too many things on the go. These six Sock Monkey's were part of my September batch and here it is October and I'm only getting around to them now. It's no wonder they cut holes in all my gloves and wrote "you suk" on every sheet of my toilet paper roll...

So, here's to these six wonderful Sock Monkeys, who have made the last two weeks of my life entertaining and are now hanging up at the local store waiting to be sold and hopefully loved by someone who gives a shi - OOPS!! I mean someone who really cares about these monkeys and will love them always...like I do... seriously.

EMMETT, CLOVER & JIGSAW

EMMETT: October 2012. Emmett has issues with carving turkeys. It was Thanksgiving this past weekend here in Canada and we had a rather large turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. As soon as my husband grabbed the knife to carve the turkey, Emmett lost it. I'm not talking lost it in a postal kind of way, but lost it as in "woofed his cookies" all over the kitchen floor. This of course started a chain reaction of vomiting and by the end of the evening, no one ate the damn turkey and I spent most of the time on my hands and knees cleaning up "woofed cookies". BUT, I am still thankful. Extremely thankful for a strong stomach and Mr. Clean...
CLOVER: October 2012. Clover never made it upstairs for the Turkey dinner. He knew Emmett was here and opted not to have a repeat of what happened last Thanksgiving. Maybe Clover should have for warned me. Perhaps next year it will be rabbit we eat for Thanksgiving...
JIGSAW: October 2012. Jigsaw actually made it upstairs. His only words out of his mouth before he lost his cookies were "Oh no, not again!" I think Sock Bunny's are mildly retarded and need to remember to let people in on the whole "Emmett will lose it" thing.
Author's note: Okay, did not mean to offend anyone with the whole "losing their cookies" thing AND the whole "Sock Bunny retarded" thing. Sock Bunnies don't have brains people so they can't be retarded. They're just idiots.

RIO, BOO, CADET & ARIZONA

RIO, BOO, CADET & ARIZONA: Born - October 2012. This happy little foursome is one of the families that get together every weekend and play the board game "Snakes and Ladders" until the wee hours of each morning. It's quite entertaining to watch if you can make it through a night with them. If you can also make it through all the poor sportsmanship, swearing and biting, you might earn a spot on their team as a 'sub' if for some reason one of them can't make the game. I seriously had no idea that "Snakes and Ladders" was such a competitive game! Mind you, Sock Monkey's have their own rules and can make them up on the go in order to suit their outcome. This of course, makes it all the more thrilling as it can change on a dime - one minute the game is proceeding quite happily, the next minute you're taking cover and dodging game pieces. Despite the possibility of losing an eye and possibly having a tetanus shot due to sock monkey bites, I highly recommend checking it out sometime. Better than sitting in front of the TV all weekend...

BUNNY BUTTS

THAT'S RIGHT, BUNNY BUTTS.

I decided you needed to see the backside of the sock bunny's for one purpose only. When I figure that purpose out, I promise I'll blog about it...



MATILDA, LYRIC & GLORIA

MATILDA, LYRIC AND GLORIA: Born - September 2012. And here is usually where I have to pause for a few minutes and figure out how to write their bio. It's not that I don't have a bio in my head, it's simply getting it from my mind to the computer. Not an easy task.
ANYWAY, on to the above trio's wonderful bio. These three sock monkeys, since the day they were created, have been tieing all my shoelaces together and turning my sweater arms inside out. They don't think I know BUT, I have video footage of them going through my sweater drawer when I'm not home AND caught them on film in the porch snickering away as they tied all my shoelaces in knots.
Folks, I can take a practical joke. It was actually funny the first time, even the second. It is now becoming quite annoying and a rather large pain in the  butt as it takes awhile to untie all my shoes as I'm trying to get out the door. Sooooooo, last night I took my revenge. Matilda, Lyric and Gloria aren't awake yet but I tied their tails together in knots, left them in a box under the kitchen sink AND taped the lid shut. Perhaps a bit extreme you may think BUT, if I don't go extreme, I'll end up with knotted shoelaces for as long as these three are in my home. Besides, I threw a banana in the box and some tequila, they should be passed out by the time I get home to let them out and all will be forgotten...

COTTON, SUDBURY & BLANCA

COTTON: Born - September 2012. You know how sometimes out of your mouth comes the words "dag-nab-it"? Well, just yesterday as Bean (the cat we are catsitting) tried to kill me on the stairs, out of my mouth not only came the words "dag-nab-it" but also "You cotton-pickin' stinkin cat!! I'm gonna hunt you down and throw you to the coyotes!!" At this time, I'm trying to cut down my swearing and  find other colourful ways to cuss and I remember "cotton-pickin' (insert object here) as a kid from Yosemite Sam on Bugs Bunny. AND, here's where I tie it all in. I was naming the one monkey at the time and his colours are so light and "pastellie" it reminded me of cotton-candy. And lo and behold, "Cotton" was named. Okay, I really didn't tie that in well did I...

SUDBURY: Born - September 2012. Sudbury doesn't have quite a colourful bio as the above. He's actually quite a regular kind of sock monkey. Keeps his nose clean and doesn't interfere with other monkey's business. Sudbury is an all around nice guy and treats everyone with respect. I seriously wonder some days if he came from outer space...

BLANCA: Born - September 2012.   Blanca DID come from outer space. She's an alien in disguise. No one hangs out with her as they all think she's going to take them back to her mother ship and probe them with, Lord only knows what. Blanca will deny it and try and convince you otherwise. That's how she manages to sucker other Sock Monkey's into hanging with her - then you never see them again. We're on to you Blanca...