GERTRUDE, OLIVER & LYNNE

GERTRUDE: March 2013. Gertrude's pattern on her body are cows. Now, when I come up with names, sometimes they just happen to match the sock, sometimes the "look" of the sock monkey and sometimes they make absolutely no sense. Well, this time, I was stumped because I really thought "Bessie" was a better cow name BUT, I had already used that name on another sock monkey and heaven forbid I accidentally name two sock monkeys the same name. So, I went on line to "goodcownames.com" and of course, Gertrude wasn't there and all the other names were just silly. I actually got tired of looking and thinking for this name and in a fit of "who the heck really cares", Gertrude just came to me. There. Now you know all the hard work behind finding sock monkey names.
OLIVER: March 2013.  Oliver has owls all over his body so he was easy to name. You think of owls and Oliver is one of the first names that will come to your mind. Try it. Okay, you can't try it now because I've already planted the name Oliver in your head for an owl and therefore this would be an exercise in futility. Next time you see an owl though, I bet all you think about is his name being Oliver.
LYNNE: March 2013. So, who names a sock monkey with ladybugs all over her "Lynne"? Well, that would be me. I was trying to find a name that would fit with the song "Ladybug, Ladybug, fly away home. Your house is on fire and your kids are alone". Firstly, who the heck writes this stuff? Why would a Ladybug be away from her kids AND just because she's a Ladybug does NOT mean she's a female AND do we just assume that she would have kids or even want them? Secondly, who the hell gives a child ladybug matches so they can burn down their home?! And what is their home - a hole in a stick? This song/nursery rhyme really should be re-thought. Which, is what I did, re-thought it and came up with this: "Hey Lynne, someone gave your kids matches and they're burning down your house, you'd best leave the bar and go deal with your unfortunate situation".
Author's note: Just so you know, I really DID look up "goodcownames.com" and it is out there! Check it out sometime, you might find a few good names for your future children. Also, keep an eye out for my new book "Nursery Rhymes and Songs Re-Visited". You're gonna love it.