APRIL 2011 COLLECTION

This is my oldest son Weston. I bribed him (with candy...) into being my Sock Monkey "Model" for the month of April. Being the sweet young man that he is, he agreed (without the candy...) and the sock monkeys just threw themselves at him. It was complete chaos!! I think one may have even bitten him!! It took us a few minutes, but we straightened them all out and managed to get the next picture. 

Again, my incredibly handsome and sweet son Weston. Of course having just been bitten by one of the sock monkeys (we think it was Rosie...), he put his 'serious face' on and wanted the picture done quickly so he could get the "heck out of dodge"....with the candy.... 

Once again I have successfully finished another batch of Sock Monkeys. I have to admit though, April was a bit of a slow month for me and I found I was never quite ahead of things. I remember being interviewed by CBC Trails End in January and told them to "check in on me in a few months and we'll see if I'm still excited about this project". Well, they haven't checked in with me (my feelings aren't hurt CBC...really...) and while I am still very excited about this project, I found that some days I was a bit "Cabin Fevered" - if that's something you can "be"- and picking up a sock monkey was the last thing on my mind.
Fear not though readers. Spring is in the air on this side of the Great Slave, the birds are singing, the days are longer and warmer and I've already started Mays batch. All is well in Jess's Sock Monkey World!!

LIN-LIN, TY-TY, NIC-NIC & SO-SO

LIN-LIN, TY-TY, NIC-NIC & SO-SO

These four Sock Monkeys were named for the family who donated them. If you can guess which family it was, you win a BRAND NEW CAR!!!! Okay, okay, just kidding. I don't even own a brand new car. As a matter of fact, I've never owned a brand new vehicle - always second hand (story of my life). HOWEVER, this is NOT about me and the unfortunate fact that no one cares enough to buy me a BRAND NEW CAR, this is about you, the lucky reader. Seriously, if you can figure out the family, you can win a Sock Monkey of your choice. Good luck!!

ROSIE.....

ROSIE: Born - April 26th. Why is Rosie alone you may ask? Firstly, let me tell you that she is so sweet and pretty with all the roses and cutsie smile HOWEVER, Rosie has a dark side... Think about it for a moment. The rose plant/bush has beautiful flowers, amazing scents and vivid colors - who wouldn't want one of those in your garden? I WOULDN'T!! The rose also has THORNS!! Do you think Rosie escaped having thorns? NO!! She's like some kind of X-Monkey creature that shoots thorns from her tail. NOT KIDDING!! I have to keep her locked up or I end up loaded with thorns. Kind of like you ran into a porcupine when you meet Rosie - only they aren't quills, they're freakin' THORNS!!
Anyway, Rosie will make some child very happy I'm sure....Or, maybe she'll make the parents happy "If you kids don't stop your nonsense, I'm bringing ROSIE out!" Gotta love Rosie...

SOCK MAYHEM!!!

Just in case you're wondering, these are some of the socks I have on hand at the moment. There are 107 socks in the above picture - all waiting to become sock monkeys. This batch of socks should take me through to mid-August. Most of these have come to me through friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and people who just love the idea and want to contribute. I can't thank you enough for the continued support and encouragement. Please, keep sending socks my way and I truly hope you enjoy the monkeys and bio's as much as I enjoy creating them.

TIGRESSA, ELLIE & BEANER

TIGRESSA: Born - April 23rd. Tigressa is the Spanish word describing a female tiger - which, describes this Sock Monkey to a "T". Not only are her colorful stripes like a tigers but, when she feels threatened she can rip you apart. Though I've never seen Tigressa go postal, word is she saved a bus load of sock monkey kids during the "Great Sock Monkey Massacre of '82" when the escaping crocodiles attacked the bus. Tigressa flew into a rage and by the time she was done, it was more like the Great Crocodile Massacre.... What a hero she was that day!

ELLIE: Born - April 24th. Ellie likes to plant trees. Not just any old tree but banana trees (of course). Ellie has travelled extensively planting banana trees wherever she goes. From the Amazon to the Antarctica (which as you may have guessed, wasn't very successful for banana trees). Her goal is to have banana trees on every continent by the time the end of the world arrives as banana trees will be the only tree left surviving whatever disaster happens to our planet. Well, I'm sure that's not true BUT, in Ellie's mind it is AND who am I to stop her from planting banana trees?

BEANER: Born - April 25th. Beaner once had a job as a professional VHS rewinder. Anytime a movie rental was returned unwound, Beaner would sit in the back room with his 7 car-shaped rewinder machines and spend the day rewinding movies. This unfortunately, caused Beaner a ton of grief at parties as he would give away all the endings to the movies they were about to watch before they started. Beaner was sadly out of a job once the DVD came in to play. There is a happy ending here - Beaner found a job rewinding the film back on to the projectors at theatres. Still causes problems in his social life though....

OSBORNE, VALERIE & ACRE

OSBORNE: Born - April 20th. Osborne has a HUGE crush on Kelly Osbourne - that's right, Ozzy's daughter. He would love nothing more than to snuggle up to her and hang out while she travels the world. Osborne hopes one day to meet her parents and have a lovely dinner while they banter back and forth about Ozzy's crazy party days. Keep dreaming Osborne, you never know which ones will come true!
VALERIE: Born - April 21st. Valerie is an on-line "window" shopper. She can sit for hours in front of a computer and find you deals in every possible department. Shoes, clothes, furniture, vehicles, fixtures, houses, appliances even major organs (if you're in the market for one or two...). Valerie is the number one "go-to-girl" when you need something fast and cheap - or at least reasonably priced, we all know organs aren't cheap...
ACRE: Born - April 22nd. Acre is named for an acre. How odd is that you may say, however, if you look closely at Acre, you see that this sock monkey is sectioned off into neat little sections. Now, if you were flying over the prairies and happened to look out your window at all the sections, acres and quarters, then you wouldn't be too confused as to why Acre is called Acre. It's also a cool word - A-ker - just say it slowly - A-ker - awesome!

BRAIYN, JADE, DAIDE & PEYTON

BRAIYN, JADE, DAIDE & PEYTON: Born - April 16th, 17th, 18th & 19th respectively.

The story behind these 4 lovely girls isn't as twisted as I usually like to write. There are actually 12 pairs of these socks which were sent to me from Patsy Coleman of Ft. Smith. Each pair represents a grandchild of hers. These are her 4 granddaughters and I am in the process of finishing the 8 grandsons, which will be posted together once they are completed. Patsy requested that I make the girls look like girls and the boys like boys. As they all look the same - more or less - I decided to add pretty pink ribbon to the girls tails so as not to confuse anyone!

My thanks to Patsy for sending them in - love the grey wool sock monkeys - classics!

PINKIE, EDWARD & MARK

PINKIE:  Born - April 13th. Pinkie is a "Happy Days" fan. She has posters of the Fonz all over her walls and ceilings. Her favourite episodes are the ones in Season 4 when Pinky Tuscadero is introduced as the Fonz's love interest. Pinkies favourite part is when the Fonz proposes to Pinky after she's been hit (in a demolition derby) and is in the hospital recovering. Pinkie will pop that episode in and watch it over and over again for hours. Every time the Fonz and Pinky part ways, Pinkie - the sock monkey - will cry for hours. Time to get over it Pinkie....
EDWARD: Born - April 14th. Edward is always trying to fly. Seriously. He has the cape, the leotards and belt - everything you need to fly. His first attempt landed him in the hospital for weeks (jumping off a cliff with only feathers glued on) and a stern talking to from his mother. After the 12th attempt, I think she gave up.... Edwards attempts are somewhat hilarious but, mostly dangerous. I won't go into detail as I don't want anyone reading this to try his stunts at home - then it's just a law suit waiting to happen. So, take it from me and the Sock Monkey community, MONKEYS DON"T FLY!!!
MARK: Born - April 15th. Mark is a master nose-picker. Master Nose-Picker you ask? Yup....that's what he does. I'm sure you've watched documentaries or been to a zoo where all the apes/monkeys/chimps are picking lice and bugs off each other? Well, Mark just takes it a step further and picks noses. He is very patient and will clean out any goobers hanging around. Mark would be more than happy to take care of your nose (for a small price - like a banana or two) if you find the task too gross. He's always up for nose-picking!

SARGE, MAUVE & CHARLIE

SARGE: Born - April 10th. Sarge comes from a small military camp just outside of Effingham, Illinois. He belonged to the local Captain who lost his eye in a paperclip accident. People say Sarge was involved and actually threw the paperclip that took out the Captain's eye but, Sarge denies ever being there. Today, the Captain lives alone in some abandoned cabin on a lake and Sarge hangs out here with me - away from my paperclip collection....
MAUVE: Born - April 11th. Mauve is named for the color mauve. It's just such a funky name and you don't hear it very often, not to mention, a really cool color. Mauve loves the color so much that she tried to lobby for the title change of the movie "The Color Purple" to "The Color Mauve". This didn't go over too well and Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey and Danny Glover all have restraining orders against Mauve. She can be quite "passionate" about her cause which apparently can lead to biting...
CHARLIE: Born - April 12th. Charlie won the prestigious award for "Best Dressed Sock Monkey of the Year" back in 1998. This just happened to be the year plaid was all the rage - everyone who was anyone was wearing it! Plaid shirts, plaid pants, plaid dresses even plaid bras and undies. I think Charlie regrets his choice of being plaid now as the trend did end. Fear not though, as all trends do, it will come back "in" at some point and perhaps Charlie will win the award again.

BRUNO, PLUTO & HUGO

BRUNO, PLUTO & HUGO: Born - April 7th, 8th & 9th respectively. These three cousins make up the first act at the Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas. All three sock monkeys are amazing trapeze artists and have been involved in the circus scene for many years. Their first appearance was with the "Ringling Brothers" where they actually had their other cousin Tebo, join in on the act. However, Tebo missed an important cue and now resides in a home for vegetable sock monkeys. ANYWAY, after that small set back, the three cousins tried their tails at circus set-up and got a job with "Barnum & Bailey". While setting up one day, the three decided to have a little fun and play on the trapeze. Unbeknownst to them, the head honcho from Cirque du Soleil happened to be passing by, peeked in and was mesmerized. He hired them on the spot and Bruno, Pluto and Hugo have been his #1 attraction for years now. You can catch their act on their website www.CIRQUEDUSOCKMONKEY.com You see, sometimes there are good endings!
Author's note: Go ahead and try the website. It will take you to an option called "Cirque du Sweet" which asks the question "Are Sock Monkeys Making a Comeback?" Personally, I didn't know they were out and needed a comeback....you tell me.

PENGU, AGATHA & CHECOV

PENGU: Born - April 4th. Pengu once travelled on an Ocean Liner and was accidentally swept overboard. Luckily, an iceberg was nearby and she managed to swim there and drag herself on top - just barely surviving a sea lion attack. It took almost 3 weeks for the Search and Rescue teams to find her and when they did, Pengu was living on fish she'd catch with her tail and ice she'd chip away at for water. The only downfall from this ordeal is she now only eats sushi and ice cubes. Oh well....

AGATHA: Born - April 5th. Agatha LOVES mystery novels and wishes she could have met her favorite author, Agatha Christie. One of her books "Death on the Nile" happens to be Agatha's top pick and she is convinced it is the story of her parents. The story is about obsessive love, murder and trickery and takes place in Egypt - you guessed it, on the Nile. To date, Agatha has never been able to prove the story is about her parents and her lawsuit to gain half the royalties from this book has been going on for years. Talk about obsessive....

CHECOV: Born - April 6th. Checov is a Russian Sock Monkey Spy for a Pharmaceutical company named "Drugs R Us". This company supplies all over the counter drugs (like Aspirin, Tylenol, Advil etc.) to the Russian people and doesn't like any other companies trying to take over their market. Checov will go undercover as a lab technician in foreign companies and sabotage their product so they never get past the Russian FDA board for approval. Sneaky little monkey that Checov - he's never been caught - yet...

STARBURST, QUINN & GILMORE

STAR BURST: Born - April 1st. Star Burst was blown out of a canon at a very young age and this is how she received her name. As she flew out of the canon, she hit one of the star decorations that promptly burst into flames, causing the outfit she was wearing to catch on fire. Fortunately for Star Burst, she had the good sense to "stop, drop and roll" putting out the flame and saving the entire stadium from burning down. Star Burst did lose all her hair though, and to this day won't go near canons, star decorations or hairdressers....
QUINN: Born - April 2nd. Quinn is a distant cousin to all the "Little's" you have already met. His greatest wish in life is to learn how to walk on stilts. After many attempts, he has not been able to master this art form. Though he can stand on 7 foot stilts, the moment he starts to move, he inevitably falls. To date Quinn has broken just about every bone in his body (not to mention a few other sock monkeys bones he's landed on...)but, still continues his quest for stilt walking.
GILMORE: Born - April 3rd. Gilmore lives in a hut by the beach, drinking pina coladas and doing the Hula for anyone who pays a visit. Gilmore has never taken Hula lessons and the more pina coladas he drinks, the more entertaining his dancing becomes. I encourage everyone to check him out next time you go by his hut - oh yeah, and make sure you ask him to put on the grass skirt.....

HELGA, THE SOCK MONSTER BALLERINA

Helga - before she steps out on stage....

Helga - bow on and ready to go...

Helga - after her dance, totally exhausted....

Helga is of course another Sock Monster. She is made from some sock odds and ends that came to me in a bag with instructions to do as I please with.  I, not being of sound mind most of the time, took that literally and Helga was created. So, without further ado, here is Helga's story...

Helga was abandoned in a fish bowl and left on the stairs of the local orphanage in a small village on the outskirts of Possum Grape, Arkansas. As the orphanage was full, Helga was given to the nuns who tried their best to raise her as an obedient servant and quiet sock monster. However, much to the nuns dismay, this was not meant to be as every opportunity Helga could get, she would dance. At first, they didn't think much of it until she started crashing into objects and breaking relics around the church. This became a problem and the nuns were forced to send Helga and her beloved fish bowl to the Madam at the local Brothel. From here, her story gets a little "sketchy" and really, who wants to know about what goes on at a Brothel? Well, some of you might want to know but I'm not going to be the one who explains it to you.... ANYWAY, Helga continued to dance and was discovered by the chief choreographer of The Paris School of Ballet while he was hanging with the Madam at the Brothel (he was just visiting...honest). He immediately signed Helga on and taught her everything a young ballerina should know.
Today, you can watch Helga perform anywhere the French Ballet Group happens to be. Quite a success story right? As for Helga's fish bowl, it travels with her and sits on her vanity at each dressing room as a reminder of her humble beginnings.

Author's note: Possum Grape, Arkansas does exist - I'm just that type of person that would know wacky town names (go figure...). Now, whether or not it has an orphanage, nunnery or brothel, I really don't know. All I know is I'm having way too much fun with these bios....