JANUARY 2011 COLLECTION

Well, there they are folks in all their glory. Count 'em up - 31 sock monkeys and 1 crazy sock monkey "builder".  Not the greatest picture, I had to sit awkwardly so you could see all of them - but they wanted me to join them for the picture - and you don't say no to sock monkeys. They all stopped yapping long enough to snap the picture without some of their mouths open, eyes closed, making bunny ears, you know the routine, every one wants to be a comedian... Zigmund, (who's legs are hanging down next to my head) had just finished telling us the most inappropriate joke - which of course started an uproar of laughter, name calling, punching and accidental "tooting". It took me an hour to get them all calmed down again.

ANYWAY, I have filled my first months quota and am already into February's batch. Hope you have been entertained so far and would love for you to continue reading and checking in to see if I'm still alive under the mountain of monkey parts I have lying around in my room.

MAGGIE, TATE & ZIBBY

MAGGIE: Born - January 29th. Maggie, believe it or not, was the inspiration behind Rod Stewarts hit single "Maggie May." She enjoyed hanging with him but in the end got tired of being woken up every morning with him yelling "wake up Maggie I think I've got something to say to you." According to Maggie he never really had anything important to say...
TATE: Born - January 30th. Tate had a master plan once to be a tap dancer with the River Dance Troupe from Ireland. However, as all his master plans, he didn't really think through the part about not having feet... Tate's new master plan is to stop making master plans.
ZIBBY: Born - January 31st. Zibby has never been able to get beyond the whole "is it black stripes on white or white stripes on black" thing. Seriously folks, unless you have time to sit through a three hour rant about racial slurs against striped critters, don't bother asking his opinion on the above mentioned dilema. Three hours I'll never get back...

ROCKSTAR, MONA & KIRBY

ROCKSTAR: Born - January 26th. Rockstar is exactly what his name says he is, a Rockstar. Every day he faithfully hugs rocks and lets them know just how special and important they are to the world. He is a true star among rocks - they love him.
MONA: Born - January 27th. Mona was once on a Soap called "The Young and the Sockless" as the lead females lost sock. Unfortunately, Mona's character was eaten by the dryer as her role was only a week long. It did earn her a "Daytime Sock" award for Best Sock Death in a Supporting Role.
KIRBY: Born - January 28th. Kirby is a happy little sock monkey whom loves to ride the merry-go-round at playgrounds. He spins and spins and spins until he can no longer see straight and walks in circles. Odd little habit yes, but it's his happy place. No need to go into detail as to why he needs a "happy place"...

MILLER, GREENBRIAR & DAX

MILLER: Born - January 23rd. Miller was once the lucky recipient of the "It's Miller Time" Award which is all about being at the right place at the right time. He aspires to be a grade 4 music teacher and never getting electrocuted on stage again. Good for you Miller!
GREENBRIAR: Born - January 24th. Greenbriar is a pair of socks kindly donated and named by my mother. Therefore, his story must be extra special....  Greenbriar hails from "Titty-Ho" in the UK (as all my names, it truly exists) and was hoping to make his way in life as an implant surgeon. Sadly, while taking his final exam, the scalpel slipped, the implant popped and the unfortunate volunteer was never heard from again. Greenbriar now works as a gravedigger...
DAX: Born - January 25th. Dax was in the pilot for the TV series "T.J. Hooker" as a drug lord. Though he played the part well, his acting career didn't go as far as Shatner's did. Dax's last appearance was as a shark victim in "Baywatch". Though he was quite mauled, he still looked pretty hot in his speedos...

THE MACHINE BEHIND THE MONKEYS

A picture of me at the machine doing what I seem to do best, creating Sock Monkeys! LOVE the old Singers!

 For anyone who is interested, these are my hands getting pieces of a sock ready to be sewn on my very old Singer sewing machine. The machine was given to me from the Mackie family after their mother passed away and has been put to good use over the past few weeks. It is approximately 45 years old and in great shape! This machine will sew through anything! They don't make them like they used to...
After their body, tail and arms are machine sewn, they have to be turned inside out, stuffed and then hand sewn on the main body along with the mouth, eyes and ears. It seems like a lengthy process and takes about 2 hours to complete one monkey.

FRAISER, ARCHIE & SYBEL

FRAISER: Born - January 20th. Fraiser lives with his ailing father whom constantly cracks jokes at Fraiser's unusually large forehead. As a matter of fact, when I finished building him, his head area kind of reminded me of Kelsey Grammar from Fraiser...hence the name. So, if you're reading this Mr. Grammar (hey, you never know), please take it as a compliment and don't sue me!!
ARCHIE: Born - January 21st. Archie doesn't like to tell people this BUT, he once owned a Crocodile Petting Zoo who's opening day was also it's closing day. The "Great Sock Monkey Massacre of '82" was not a proud moment for young Archie and his entrepreneurial idea... It was a dark day for Sock Monkeys everywhere...
SYBEL: Born January 22nd. Sybel was the first Sock Monkey to climb the great Mt. Everest and live to tell the tale. She will be publishing her first book "Sybel's Mountain" to be released in early 2012. Sybel will be doing the book signing circuit with a guest appearance on the "Ellen" show and maybe a spot on "60 Minutes". Wait, do they even do 60 Minutes anymore? What a celebrity our Sybel is!

"FAMILIA OTEIZA"....as sock monkeys...

PENGU, DAITA, SARGE, STAR BURST & CHARLIE.

These special sock monkeys were donated by the "Familia Oteiza" and came with names, birthdates and stories for each one. Thank you Daniel, Marissa, Caitlind & Christopher for your contribution. Below is each monkey's bio as sent in.





PENGU - Born: September 30th. Pengu was raised at the North Pole. She loves skating, snow cones and the color pink.
DAITA - Born: February 2nd. Daita is from outer space. He loves cats, painting and watching Star Trek.
SARGE - Born: December 31st. Sarge hails from an army base in Edmonton. Loves potatos, the color green and rock music.
STAR BURST - Born: May 15th. Star Burst is from Duncan, B.C. She loves music, the color orange and candy.
CHARLIE - Born: October 11th. Charlie is from Yellowknife, N.T.  She loves soccer, books and the Star Wars movies.



BECCA, LOUIS & CHLOE

BECCA, LOUIS & CHLOE: Born - January 17th, 18th & 19th respectively.  While Becca and Chloe are sisters from B.C., Louis is their adopted baby brother from "Toadsuck, Arkansas".
Louis was found in an old abandoned shoe factory by a traveling St. Bernard whom happened to know Becca and Chloe from a tragic mountaineering experience years ago. He gave the sisters a call and they agreed to take Louis on as their brother(after all, they did "owe" one to the St. Bernard - but that's another story...).
Becca and Chloe earn a wage by cleaning out the lint from my dryer and my husbands belly-button. They sell it on www.webuylint.com and make enough money to raise Louis and keep him warm and safe at night. What a sweet little family!

Author's note: Hey, the website is just made up. Don't try going there... I did. Unless you want to purchase lint rollers in bulk, take my word for it and save yourself 3 minutes of your life.

LARRY....the result of my semi-sober brain....

LARRY...... Well, Larry is extra special. It is a slightly twisted tale of how he came about and who actually inspired the name for him - none of which I can go into detail here. If you really want to know, you should have been at the Back Eddy this past Saturday night sitting at the table with my brother Ken and I. Needless to say, after a few double scotch and a bottle and a half of wine, Ken and I came to the conclusion that we're going to hell. We will be taking Larry with us....

All joking aside, Larry was created for my brother and will hang out with King Ken, Gumby & Pokey and mother's duck (I know, yet another entertaining story) on his desk at work. Larry hails from Wetwang in the UK (look it up...it's there) and used to live at home with his mother and 4 sisters. He recently had a brain transplant and only functions on one lung - perhaps Larry is not long for this world... However folks, until his untimely demise, he is now the very proud Sock Monster of Ken's Desk. 

Sister's note - the above commentary is an opinion only and does not in any way, shape or form have the slightest amount of truth to it. My brother and I are perfect and don't go to bars...ever...seriously...not even kidding...stop laughing. 

LYDIA, NIC & GIDEON

LYDIA: Born - January 14th. Lydia will tell you she's distantly related to Rudolph and they share the same large red nose. Lydia will also tell you that pigs fly and Tammy Faye Baker was framed. Don't believe her, she lies....

NIC: Born January 15th. Nic likes to think he's a bit of a "ladies man" and that anything female can't resist his charm. Though he is a nice looking Sock Monkey, he eats only coffee beans and turnips which leaves his breath not too charming - doesn't go over well in the ladies department...

GIDEON: Born January 16th. Gideon once flew over the moon on a giant silver cow, driven by a cat and a fiddle. Hey...wait a minute... isn't that a nursery rhyme? How come Gideon was never mentioned? And what became of the dish and the spoon?

NOT SOCK MONKEYS....SOCK OWLS!

In my attempt to find useful ways of recycling - especially socks - I decided to try another kind of critter for my growing collection. These are "Sock Owls". They are made from remnants of socks. You don't even need a matching pair and socks for these owls can be old, hole ridden and worn.
They range from 3 to 6 inches in height, have wings made from scrap material, are a tad bit overstuffed and quite sweet when finished. Could this be my 2012 project - A Sock Owl a Day? Hmmmmmm......

DOTTIE, ZIGMUND & JIGZ

DOTTIE: Born - January 11th. Dottie had a rare case of Sock Monkey Measles which as we all know, can lead to all kinds of polka dot problems. Though it left her with a few side affects - such as never wearing stripes - she doesn't seem to mind the dots and never complains. Good on you Dottie!

ZIGMUND: Born - January 12th. Zigmund was found in a Thrift shop bin for unwanted socks. I have absolutely no idea why someone wouldn't wear him and just discarded him like that. Seriously, look at him. He's so colorful and turned into one cool looking Sock Monkey. I think I may just keep him around...

JIGZ: Born January 13th. Jigz had the misfortune of seeing himself cut and sewn as his eyes were put on before the butchering began. As you can clearly see, his eyes have never recovered from the shock. To this day his left eye twitches when you're not looking.  

ROSCO, CARLIE & PERCY

ROSCO: Born - January 8th. Rosco chases mice. Once he catches them, he trains them to jump through flaming hoops for the circus. A lot of the mice don't make it through "basic training" but I hear they're quite tasty flame broiled....yum.

CARLIE: Born January 9th. Carlie wishes to own a bright red mini-van one day and have a career as a Sushi Chef. She is generally a fun natured and very loving Sock Monkey until she has a knife in her hand.... I hear she cooks up a mean casserole though, and thanks Rosco for the "donations..."

PERCY: Born January 10th. Percy is really good at doing absolutely nothing and believes he should have been the next James Bond. He is regularly seen at the Monkey Tail Bar trying to pick up all the female Sock Monkeys, unsuccessfully I might add. Stick to doing nothing Percy...

BARNEY THE SOLSTICE SOCK TROLL

This is NOT a Sock Monkey. This is a Sock Troll, and a Solstice Sock Troll at that. His name is Barney. He lives in Opera Houses and on Fishermen boats. He does NOT live under bridges. The 3 Billy Goats Gruff were shameless liars and never met a Troll in their life. As a matter of fact, the 3 Billy Goats Gruff now live under a bridge in Big Bone Lick, Kentucky (yup, it exists) and work at night as Fortune Cookie Writers. Bet you're wondering about all those fortunes you thought were true now aren't you?

Author's footnote: Duane and Sally, if you're reading this, thought you'd appreciate his name - thanks for the suggestion... Nicole, if you're reading this, I made this guy after you requested a sock troll - hope you like him. I picked the bright colors as he is, after all, a Solstice Troll. Oh yeah, incase you didn't figure it out, he's made from a toe sock. Not the easiest to work with but I think the end result is pretty cool.

TRIXIE, MULLIGAN & ERNESTINE

TRIXIE - Born: January 5th.  Trixie used to turn tricks down at the local - OOPS!!! Wrong story!!!! Trixie is a sweet hometown girl and would never do anything that could possibly trash her reputation.... All those stories from the Monkey Tail Bar are just stories.... seriously.... not kidding...

MULLIGAN - Born: January 6th.  Mulligan absolutely loves "So You Think You Can Dance Canada."  Mulligan thinks he can dance and we don't tell him any differently - we still haven't found the last Sock Monkey who laughed. He has yet to find a partner but would love to be the next contestant on the show. Anyone interested? Let me know.

ERNESTINE - Born January 7th.  Ernestine was named for my father Ernie who was bald and kinda looked like Ernestine....weird.  Anyway, she has a pet ferret named Bert (go figure) and he plays dead for her a lot. We think he's actually dead but no one has the heart to tell her. 

LIZZY, SUZETTE & BINK

LIZZY: Born - January 2nd.  Lizzy is one of the smallest Sock Monkey's and stands a  whopping 14 inches from head to tail. Though she isn't touchy about her height, you'd be wise not to mention it around her. Lizzy bites.

SUZETTE: Born - January 3rd. Suzette wishes to be a Super Model one day and loves Oh Henry bars dipped in Peanut Butter after every meal. She is also an accomplished paper clip artist and her work can be viewed in Buckingham Palace (the Queen is a HUGE fan...).

BINK: Born - January 4th. Bink lost his shoulders while fighting for his life during the "Great Sock Monkey Massacre of '82". He has been on the shoulder replacement list for a long time  and is seeking a donor. Anyone with an extra set of shoulders lying about, send them in!

  

Meet "Watson"

Firstly, let me say, "Happy 2011 everyone" and may this year ahead be a happy one indeed!
Above is a picture of my New Years Sock Monkey, Watson. I decided to go the traditional route for the first Sock Monkey of the year simply because I thought that would be an appropriate thing to do in honor of Sock Monkeys everywhere! So, here he is in all his glory...Watson.
I will be posting every 3 to 4 days from here on in (unless otherwise inclined), with pictures, names, stories and details of all my creations. Hope you'll join me and keep reading, commenting AND, sending in the socks!